Photos: Sung-Hee Seewald
It’s been already a little more than six months since I’m living back home at my parents. I moved back into my old room downstairs and I had to go through the hardest time after the break-up without my stuff. In a few days, I’m finally getting back all my clothes and personal belongings – it’s gonna be a relief and also a much needed cut and line at the end of the last 8 years.
But at the same time, I had to go through 3 stages of being back at my parents with 27 and I want to share them with you in this personal post:
1 • Hello, teenage life!
Well, I guess this one explains itself by telling you that I feel like 12 again. May I introduce myself? My name is „Cleanupyourroom!“.
Worst part of it all: Goodbye privacy! Goodbye adult life! Giving up all that after three years of living in Hamburg in my own apartment where I had my own life, is hard. I won’t lie. It sucks. Big time.
The thing is: my parents have always been kind of overprotective and a huge part of my life. Plus: I’ve been a pretty obedient teen and I never lied to them. I’ve never done stupid shit that actually brought me into worst-case situations. My teenage time was boring as hell and now I’m back at this. Yay! Not.
Guess it’s time to put „being a little more rebellious“ on my „Single Bucket List“ (which is actually a thing I want to do and I will definitely post it on the blog)…
I’m glad, though, that I have amazing and loving parents who actually care about me and all I do, but with 27, it’s kind of difficult not to get crazy because I feel like I can’t do anything that’s not being observed.
Also not helpful: mom telling me I should clean up my room, dad knowing how long I was awake last night and all the other typical moaning from your parents when you want to do something that doesn’t please them (like late-night cooking). Only missing: „Do your homework!“, „Don’t come home too late!“, „No boys!“,… Constant eye rolling and arguing is the unevitable result of that, but it’s obviously part of being their kid who they had to welcome back, right? ;) And yes: I love my parents. I really do.
2 • Goodbye Hamburg, hello little village!
Definitely the worst part of being back at my hometownvillage – I really miss Hamburg. I can’t tell you how much I miss the city, the friends I made, all those delivery services (not a single one up here in this little village!), everything! And in a few days, I’ll have to say goodbye for good. Cause I don’t know when I’ll be coming back, even though that’s the plan and all I want right now.
Things you don’t know: I’m currently not capable of paying a rent by myself, especially because with the break-up, the whole blog thing died the way it was for 8 years. No regular photographer, no more cool locations everywhere you look, I’ve been in a horribly bad mood for months, no clothes and an actual closet, no make-up, no nothing – the consequence was that I had to stop posting regularly and with that, there was no possibility of acquiring new clients for blog collabs.
But I’m fighting back my way to (blog) life and it’s an amazing fight and I’m proud of myself for never giving up.
3 • Resignation, my old friend!
Well, that’s a little too dramatic (but nothing’s better than a dramatic headline!). But yes, I had to resignate – or rather: accept the situation for now. This is the best way to start all over again. And I’m thankful for being here with my lovely parents (and my cat!), a room, a bed, mom’s delicious food, my all-time hero dad, all the places I’ve known for 24 years, cause I grew up here and learned a lot – it’s actually quite okay to be here. And even though the circumstances could be better, I’m fine with how it is (I still complain a lot, though). :)
I know that this is not forever and I know that I’m capable of changing it all for the better. I’ve got a plan and I will make it come true. All by myself.
And I’m actually thank ful for the possibility to finally grow up and learn and do things I’ve never done before. My new life is pretty interesting and exciting and I can’t wait to see how I’m evolving.
But if there’s anything I already learned after this time it’s that „don’t grow up – it’s a trap“ are very wise words. Good thing I’m currently back to being 12 again. ;)