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All Posts By Luciana

• JahresrückBLOG 2019 •

By Posted on 9 3.5K views

Well, I don’t even know where to start… it’s been a hell of a year. I’ve been through a lot and it wasn’t just good stuff that happened. But I’m still here, I’ve survived and I’m still fighting. As I’ve told you so many times before: I’m not giving up. And 2019 was totally worth it. I’ve achieved so much, even though it wasn’t easy to get there. Of course, the highest price I had to pay was that I had to stop blogging. There’s absolutely no more time for it, I still haven’t found a photographer to work with, especially not for free (which I wouldn’t even want to ask for, but since I don’t make any money with this blog anymore, I’m simply not able to pay for it – and all the money I make now is much needed to pay for my rent, for food and for those little fun times after work, which are really, really rare). I had to change my life, completely. I had to → grow up and I’m glad I got to share some of it with you, at least in the beginning. The struggle was real, still is. But I know what I’m doing it for. It’s for my dream, the dream of living in my favorite city, on my own, in my own home, for myself – I am doing it all for me. And if that’s not the best reason to fight, what is? 

I truly miss blogging. I miss the good times of taking pictures on a regular, creating outfits, empowering all of you not only with my looks but also with my words. But fact is, people don’t read anymore, people like to consume perfect pictures on Instagram, preferably without an actual message, no content but a photo that’s nice to look at. You get to live from it when you’ve got the money to support a luxurious lifestyle – cause that’s what people prefer to see on Social Media. I’m not saying that there aren’t people who are looking for realness and/or follow accounts that actually have something to say. But after 10 years in the business, I’ve seen it all grow and eventually stand still or even going back. Blogging was a tough business even though I never really saw it a business, as work. It was always something I’ve loved, something that filled me with joy and happiness. But I believe that my time is over. I believe that blogging is over. We’ve all moved on to Instagram and probably will even move on to another app in some time. Who knows? Of couse, this is not the end of my blog. I just can’t say goodbye to all those good times just because I don’t have enough time anymore to do it like a few years ago. I had already decided to use my blog for what’s important to me to tell – my story. Hoping that the people who need to read it, will do so and feel empowered by a girl who just had to finally start living. It’s possible! And I will continue to share my story. Even if it’s just one post per year, I won’t stop blogging. Promise! These almost 11 years were a privilege and I will cherish them forever.

So, here’s a look back at my hardest but most successful year so far – 2019, the year I finally reached all my goals!

• Time to grow up | VII – About one year… •

By Posted on 9 15.9K views

One year. Wow. It’s already been a whole year since I moved back to Hamburg, the city I love and where I feel at home. One year and so many things happened, so many changes, so many challenges, so many memories – great ones and not so great ones. It’s been a thrilling year, so I feel like writing a recap is obligatory to share my last year with you.

• Time to grow up | VI – About failing and fighting… •

By Posted on 5 5.8K views

Oh, where to start? It’s time for a life update. I’m utterly sad that I don’t really find enough time for blogging anymore. Blogging as it was before is definitely over, but I guess that’s part of completely changing your life. And that’s fine. I’ve decided to blog about things that matter to me, topics that I find important and obviously all those changes in my life. Yes, I miss posting my outfits, but I’m happy to say that I still upload my looks on Instagram, even though I don’t really like that shallow platform. But nowadays, you have to go with the flow and there’s probably no better place to post what I wear than on Instagram, because it’s easy and fast and I can also show you my everyday looks without feeling bad cause I wanted my blog to be a place for high fashion and edgy looks, not only the stuff you can easily wear for running errands. I mostly show you my work looks now, which – thanks to my little job in the fashion store – luckily aren’t that boring (but it looks like I’m only wearing jeans anymore, haha! It’s just perfect for the job, comfy and easily combinable…) and from time to time, we shoot some outfits with store items that I like. My colleague is so nice to help by taking the pictures and she’s pretty good at it! I guess, I should hire her as my new photographer! :)

Well, but as today’s blog title says, I’m gonna write about failing – and fighting. And this is not easy to write. Right now, my life consists of fighting. Fighting to stay here in Hamburg, because it seems like I’m right back at the beginning, where I started last year when I came back – just with no money left. I’m seriously struggling and my situation is bad. Really bad. I’m not feeling great, I lost my second job, which was fun, due to the worst luck ever and it actually should’ve never been a reason to fire me because it’s just a natural risk of the work itself, but here I am, almost jobless again. All I have left right now is my mini job at the fashion store which luckily provides some money, but definitely not enough, not even enough to pay my rent – but that’s something I’m hopefully about to change cause what’s happening with our shared flat is also pretty bad and something I’m not taking anymore. I’m pissed off and I don’t wanna live in a shithole where the landlord just doesn’t care about anything but receiving way too much money. But that’s another story. My mental condition is that bad that even my physical condition is bad – I’ve lost a lot of weight, I’m not really hungry anymore, I keep becoming sick and I’m very tired. Tired of everything. 

And I’m scared. I’m literally scared. I don’t wanna leave Hamburg, it’s the place I love, it’s home. Whenever I remind myself that I’m here, I feel like I’m exactly where I should be, where I belong to. And I don’t wanna change this. I don’t wanna go. I don’t wanna say that I’ve failed completely. Right now, I “just” failed at being able to pay for living. That’s bad enough. I don’t wanna give up yet. Not everything I’ve already achieved in almost a year being back. Not living at my favorite place. I’m fighting. Probably not enough, cause I’m scared as hell, but I’m doing what I can. I’m trying my best. And I will continue to do so. But to be honest, May seems to be the last month I’m able to fight. I will have to find a job that pays for my life here. Otherwise, I have no other choice than giving up, even though this isn’t an option I want to accept yet. So here goes nothing: everything. It just has to work out this time. 

• JahresrückBLOG 2018 | II – Single Bucket List 2018 Recap •

By Posted on 2 11.5K views

I know, I know, it’s already February and actually way too late to post the second part of my annual recap, but hey – better late than never, right? And yes, there’s still a lot to say about the last year, probably the most amazing one of my life so far, because it taught me so much and helped me become the person I was struggling to be before my transformation started back in 2017. 2018 was an important year, a year of change, a year of new challenges and new things to experience, a year as single and embracing that fact. And oh, I really enjoyed checking off things off my bucket list! It was fun and it was exciting and I wish I had new ideas for 2019, but my brain won’t come up with something – at least, I still got some points left from 2018 and will try to turn them into memories! But here comes my → #SingleBucketList2018 recap!