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• JahresrückBLOG 2020 •

By Posted on 2 19.4K views

It’s finally time for my favorite kind of blog post – the annual recap! I had actually started another #TimeToGrowUp post about the past two years back in Hamburg and was supposed to post it before doing my recap but now it’s December 31 and I guess I can also combine these two posts, right?

2020 was a very weird but also very special year. I won’t say it was a great one because so many people lost not only their jobs and a lot of money but also their lives. It is a fact that 2020 changed a lot for many, many people all around the world. It was my personal financial death, since I lost my job in the beginning of the year, right on time for the whole crisis to start putting us in lockdowns and quarantines. So finding new job in my position, someone who’s never actually studied something, was kind of impossible. I spent most of the time at home, which, health-wise, was the best decision. I’m happy to say that so far, I haven’t caught Covid-19 – I’m actually scared about what would happen to me if I got it, since my immune system is pretty much a party pooper and I’m on high risk because of my Type 1 Diabetes. So yeah, I will continue to definitely stay at home as much as I can and be aware of all precautions.

Also, 2020 was a very lonely year but funnily, I made a few new friendships and also got to see who my real friends are. Especially since we couldn’t see each other a lot, video chats and phone calls got me through 2020, as well as watching way too much Netflix and playing video games. But I also went outside, during summer, and met new people (with distance) – and it was a great summer, to be honest. I kept saying it’s probably the last worry-free summer, regarding work and being an adult. Having no job during this year made me kind of feel like a teenager again, so I hope you understand this weird thought. Sitting in the park, having a beer, swimming in the lake, playing cards, listening to music, all that while having the sun shining on my poor head and burning my scalp was just what I needed to get through this…, well, shitty year.

Of course, I’m also sharing my favorite songs of 2020 with you, like every year. Feel free to listen to them while reading this post or whenever you want to. :) Without music, I would’ve never survived this year. And as every year, I’m more than thankful for all my 52 weekly mixes on Spotify cause they’re always perfect and have shown me so many wonderful songs and amazing artists!

• JahresrückBLOG 2019 •

By Posted on 15 22.6K views

Well, I don’t even know where to start… it’s been a hell of a year. I’ve been through a lot and it wasn’t just good stuff that happened. But I’m still here, I’ve survived and I’m still fighting. As I’ve told you so many times before: I’m not giving up. And 2019 was totally worth it. I’ve achieved so much, even though it wasn’t easy to get there. Of course, the highest price I had to pay was that I had to stop blogging. There’s absolutely no more time for it, I still haven’t found a photographer to work with, especially not for free (which I wouldn’t even want to ask for, but since I don’t make any money with this blog anymore, I’m simply not able to pay for it – and all the money I make now is much needed to pay for my rent, for food and for those little fun times after work, which are really, really rare). I had to change my life, completely. I had to → grow up and I’m glad I got to share some of it with you, at least in the beginning. The struggle was real, still is. But I know what I’m doing it for. It’s for my dream, the dream of living in my favorite city, on my own, in my own home, for myself – I am doing it all for me. And if that’s not the best reason to fight, what is? 

I truly miss blogging. I miss the good times of taking pictures on a regular, creating outfits, empowering all of you not only with my looks but also with my words. But fact is, people don’t read anymore, people like to consume perfect pictures on Instagram, preferably without an actual message, no content but a photo that’s nice to look at. You get to live from it when you’ve got the money to support a luxurious lifestyle – cause that’s what people prefer to see on Social Media. I’m not saying that there aren’t people who are looking for realness and/or follow accounts that actually have something to say. But after 10 years in the business, I’ve seen it all grow and eventually stand still or even going back. Blogging was a tough business even though I never really saw it a business, as work. It was always something I’ve loved, something that filled me with joy and happiness. But I believe that my time is over. I believe that blogging is over. We’ve all moved on to Instagram and probably will even move on to another app in some time. Who knows? Of couse, this is not the end of my blog. I just can’t say goodbye to all those good times just because I don’t have enough time anymore to do it like a few years ago. I had already decided to use my blog for what’s important to me to tell – my story. Hoping that the people who need to read it, will do so and feel empowered by a girl who just had to finally start living. It’s possible! And I will continue to share my story. Even if it’s just one post per year, I won’t stop blogging. Promise! These almost 11 years were a privilege and I will cherish them forever.

So, here’s a look back at my hardest but most successful year so far – 2019, the year I finally reached all my goals!

• JahresrückBLOG 2018 | II – Single Bucket List 2018 Recap •

By Posted on 2 21K views

I know, I know, it’s already February and actually way too late to post the second part of my annual recap, but hey – better late than never, right? And yes, there’s still a lot to say about the last year, probably the most amazing one of my life so far, because it taught me so much and helped me become the person I was struggling to be before my transformation started back in 2017. 2018 was an important year, a year of change, a year of new challenges and new things to experience, a year as single and embracing that fact. And oh, I really enjoyed checking off things off my bucket list! It was fun and it was exciting and I wish I had new ideas for 2019, but my brain won’t come up with something – at least, I still got some points left from 2018 and will try to turn them into memories! But here comes my → #SingleBucketList2018 recap!

• JahresrückBLOG 2017 | III – New Year, New Me… literally. •

By Posted on 13 16.9K views

Photos: Katharina Kerwer
» Düsseldorf | Hyatt Regency

2017 was a year of changes. It was the worst year of my life and at the same time the best year ever. People like to say “new year, new me” when they start into a new year. For me, 2018 literally means that it’s going to be a new year with a new me, cause I already changed a lot and I’m still in that metamorphosis mood from 2017.

Looking back, I’m pretty sure that what happened to me was the best that could happen to me cause I was stuck. And I wasn’t happy. I was horribly unsatisfied and I was a hostage of my anxieties. The change was unevitable but I wish it would’ve happened a little easier or at least not with the destroying power of a nuclear bomb. But thinking about it, this was probably necessary – otherwise, I wouldn’t have understood that I’ve got to do something.

So – let’s stop philosophizing about this because this is the last part of my recap of the year and all I want to do now is have a look at the things I learned 2017…

I love the #Truthbombs from Danielle LaPorte and this will be my mantra for 2018.