There are many things you learn when you start blogging. Every day is different. When I started blogging almost 7 years ago (crazy, huh?), I did it “just because”, without any motive or goal. I just wanted to share my outfits, that’s it. Today, blogging has become my job, and it wouldn’t be like this if I hadn’t learned a lot. From taking pictures to working on the layout and writing to business talks and trying to make a living with what you love. It’s not always positive, you’ll definitely have a few or even a lot of setbacks. Especially when you do everything alone, it’s hard not to take everything personally, but that’s one of the things I learned, so: here’s my list of the things I learned through blogging.
Lingerie: Agent Provocateur
“Cassia”, ”Tina” and “Iyla” bra H&M+ pants
A few days ago, the Victoria’s Secret Show 2015 was filmed in New York and will air on December 8. There was a lot of trouble going on and I felt the need to post a picture on → Instagram, which is supposed to send you a special message. Somehow, I guess that’s not enough, more like a drop in the ocean (and I got to read a few very sad comments from people who either didn’t get the message or just were rude, mindless idiots), but as we should never stop talking about size diversity and body positivity and especially do something against body shaming, I take these pictures from my latest shooting with → Mici (who has this great project → Charosé with her friend → Summer, two great bloggers, by the way!) and want to spread the words I have to say and hopefully change a few minds.
“With all that #victoriassecretshow trouble going on, it’s time to remind yourselves that these models’ bodies aren’t the only body type that’s good – every body can be beautiful, sexy, admirable and something to look up to. You’re not worth less only because you don’t look like all those “Angels” on stage. You’re not less sexy because you have a big belly or thick thighs, you’re not disgusting because you don’t have a six pack or no thigh gap. Please always remember: you’re not supposed to look like an underwear model, they shouldn’t be your number one goal and you’re allowed to be yourself, fully dressed, in underwear or naked. You’re good the way you are. Oh and because I like to promote size diversity and not body shaming: the models look great, that’s not the point! It’s about loving yourself and accepting not only your body but also other people’s bodies.”
Summer’s over and so is my → #BeachBodyNotSorry special that I have been doing this season. It’s been a lot of fun to share my beach looks with you and it definitely was a matter close to my heart to encourage you all to just don’t give a s*** and head over to the next beach or pool and wear whatever you want, whether it’s a bikini or a swimsuit or you still prefer to cover up a little more with a beach dress or towel. Everything’s okay as long as you feel great. And you should never – I repeat: NEVER – make this dependent on others. Because YOU decide how you feel, how you look, who you want to be – not strangers. Not even your friends or your family. Your body – your rules. And I want to add: your life – your rules.
Coming back to the topic of today’s blog post: in this little recap, I want to show all of my beach looks again and add a few pictures I took on “real” beaches in Brazil during my vacation (a post about it is already in the making, so stay tuned!). And to let you know: it was great. Nobody looked at me in a bad way (at least I didn’t catch anybody watching) and even if – I didn’t care. Because I went to the beach to have fun and I definitely did. I had a great time at several beaches, crowded ones, remote ones, with my family or with complete strangers. Nobody treated me badly because of my body, nobody even mentioned it. All I got was compliments on my beautiful beach wear, on the new bikini I bought in Rio, on what I brought to show off at the famous and not-so-famous beaches. Nobody called me fat or ugly, I never felt like a stranded whale and nobody gave me the feeling that this is not where I’m supposed to be. Because in the heat, that’s where everybody is allowed to be – refreshing oneself in the sea, sunbathing on the beach and maybe even sharing an ice-cold beer with friends.
I really hope that I could at least change one person’s mind and help her to be able to go to the beach without being afraid of being insulted, be it by looks, laughter or words. You’re better than someone else’s small-minded brain that’s not capable of accepting diversity. And you should never listen to these people.
Never forget: everyBODY is beautiful, even if it’s not your own personal taste how someone looks – it’s not up to you to define beauty for the world and it’s not up to you to judge others. And you should never ever feel sorry about your (beach) body.
I’ve got tagged on Instagram for the “five things I can’t read, hear or see anymore” tag and decided to join – but with a plus-size edition of it. There are many things I can’t take anymore. Actually, the whole plus-size thing is a bit messed up and to be honest: there shouldn’t be a term like “plus size”. Diversity is the key – to everything.
But until we get the important changes done, here are the five things that really annoy me a lot. Don’t take it way too seriously, it’s about my opinion and please feel free to have your own. Maybe we share some of the points, maybe not. Maybe you can think of more things, so share them with us in the comment section. I’m very curious to know about the five things you can’t read, hear or see anymore! ;)
Actually, this is pretty offensive – every woman is a real woman. Why is it so cool to only call curvy (another adjective that’s somehow wrong – not every fat woman is curvy!) and fat women “real”? If you’ve got the important chromosome, you’re a real woman. Even if you’re transgender, I say: you’re a real woman. Because that is how you feel. If you feel like a woman, you’re a woman. Period. No need to use any descriptions – or let’s just call them euphemisms – for fat women. We’re not “queen-sized” or “voluptuous” (and the list of silly words is infinite). We’re fat. And that’s okay because it’s an adjective like tall, green-eyed, blonde, stupid and: superficial. Just like that “real women” bullshit.
“This makes you look fatter than you are / this is so not flattering!”
Yeah, well, sorry, but I don’t care. Fashion is so much more than just looking slimmer. It’s about wearing what you want to wear in this exact moment. Fashion is not supposed to make you look skinny. It’s about dressing yourself. Fashion is not supposed to make anyone love you more – because when you’re naked, that’s you. And if people only love you for your clothes, then we’re back at “superficial”. Let’s say: “real women” don’t care about “flattering”. Of course, dressing for your body shape is always the safe option. Dressing flatteringly makes anyone look good. But why do we always forget that when we feel good, we look good? Fashion is only a goodie. And if I want to wear this tight dress and you can see my rolls, that’s who I am, that’s how I want you to see me. I don’t want to be somebody else or stop looking like me. And if this means that you tell me that I look fatter than I am: okay. I’m not mad at you if you think that being me looks fatter to you, even though you’re just seeing what’s there (throwing on a sack doesn’t make me skinnier, sorry!), but: I can’t hear or read it anymore. And that applies to others too.
“But she’s not even plus size!”
Well… I’m pretty sure that models like Ashley, Candice, Denise or Robyn don’t care because they’re making a lot of money being a “plus size” in terms of fashion. Still, I know it sucks when someone with a beautiful normal body that’s actually a size 10 is called “plus size”. But that’s fashion, honey. I’m sorry for that and even though I do think that this should be changed, this is how it is. You’re either “size zero” or “plus size”. That’s the business. It’s up to us to remind ourselves that we might be fatter than “size zero” but we’re a) beautiful just like that and b) not a fashion term. We’re not a term, not a size, not a number in our jeans, not a label. We’re human beings who are good the way we are. And always screaming that these models aren’t what they’re working as is also kind of body shaming – for both sides. “Plus size” is not an insult. Please finally understand this!
Ochre-colored linen sacks
That’s my word for those horrible and unfortunately typical (hopefully only of Germany!) plus-size clothes. You will NEVER look slimmer and NOT IN A MILLION YEARS better in these feces-colored clothes. Believe me. Any plus-size shop should stop selling them. They’re actually disgusting.
The typical plus-size prints, in combination with tiny little rhinestones and sexy quotes like “Happy Day!”
No. Just no. I actually don’t even want to say more but: those huge floral or abstract prints are bad enough, they’re not modern, not stylish, not cool. But as if this weren’t enough, plus-size brands (is that another German problem?) love combining them with tiny little rhinestone “prints” – like forming a heart or stars with them. And of course there has to be a “motivational” slogan or something else without any sense on your shirt: “Happy Day!” (not with this piece), “Miami 68” (I don’t think so) or “Summer” (best worn in winter). I repeat: NO.