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Best Birthday Gift EVER. ♥️

Best Birthday Gift EVER. ♥️

Sorry, dass es momentan keine neuen Fotos von mir gibt, der Februar hat mich voll erwischt. 😷 Als kleine Entschädigung gibt’s einen Spucki in vier Akten - das Thunfischmanöver. In Wahrheit giert er natürlich auf den Salat. 🤓 Thunfisch hatte er nämlich zu dem Zeitpunkt schon längst bekommen! Diese kleine Bilderserie ist noch aus dem letzten Jahr und in der Horror-WG entstanden - in wenigen Tagen haben wir uns wieder und dann hole ich Spucki zurück nach Hamburg. Dann sind wir endlich wieder vereint, in einer Wohnung nur für uns zwei. Ich bin fast so aufgeregt wie beim ersten Mal, als er endlich zu mir durfte. ♥️

Sorry, dass es momentan keine...

Remembering those easy summer evenings, those little moments without any worries, with my baby boy, the most perfect view, stunning sunsets at every end of the day, music surrounding us two while sitting there on the window... I want them back. And a functioning nose (God, I hate being sick). But most of all, I wish for inner peace, I wanna be calm on the inside and know that everything’s okay, that everything’s gonna turn out fine. And just for once I want to know how it feels like when everything actually goes fine and smooth. I’m sick of struggling. I’m sick of fighting all the time. I know I’m strong but I’m sick of having to be strong every second of the day. Dear Universe, if you can hear me and are willing to grant me a wish: please guide me to a good life, a happy life and take away all those worries and struggles. 🙏🏻 #realtalk

Remembering those easy summer evenings,...

Aus den Archiven von vor 2 Jahren - als ich mit einer lieben Freundin Tee trinken war und wir ganz schön viel gelacht haben (ich grunze übrigens, wenn ich mich nicht mehr einkriegen kann). Oh, was freu‘ ich mich schon drauf, Ende Februar im Urlaub in die Heimat zu fahren, runterzukommen, meine Eltern in die Arme zu nehmen, Spucki auf dem Schoß zu haben und meinen 30. Geburtstag im kleinen Kreis mit Freunden zu feiern. Und dann hoffentlich wieder genauso viel zu lachen! ♥️

Aus den Archiven von vor...

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Ich lieg‘ momentan flach und renne gleichzeitig von Arzt zu Arzt, deshalb ist es so still hier, aber ich hab‘ diesen Worklook von letzter Woche noch gar nicht gepostet, das hole ich hiermit nach. „All Black“ bleibt immer ein Favorit, grad wenn‘s etwas seriöser sein soll. 🖤 #plussize #plussizeoutfit #plussizeblogger #luziehtan #celebratemysize #honormycurves #effyourbodystandards

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Ich lieg‘...

Can’t wait to have my baby back with me by the end of the month. ♥️

Can’t wait to have my...

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Dinge, die ich im Arbeitsalltag vermisse: meine schönen High Heels. Weil die so gut zum heutigen Outfit gepasst hätten, gibt’s wenigstens ein Foto damit. ♥️ #plussize #plussizeoutfit #plussizeblogger #luziehtan #celebratemysize #honormycurves #effyourbodystandards

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Dinge, die...

Um die Woche komplett zu machen, gibt‘s dann noch mein Sonntagsoutfit für euch. Den freien Tag verbringe ich mit Filmen im Bett und erhole mich vor allem von gestern, damit ich morgen direkt wieder mit 10 Stunden in die neue Woche starten kann. Happy Sunday, ihr Lieben! 😘 P.S.: Ja, Nippel - weil: no bra, no problems.

Um die Woche komplett zu...

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Letzter Arbeitstag der Woche - ich bin ganz schön im Eimer, aber das soll mir natürlich niemand ansehen, also heute besonders hübsch gemacht in schwarz. Mein allerliebster Lieblingsrock ist mir mittlerweile zu groß und das macht mich traurig, aber mit einem Gürtel kann man ihn noch einigermaßen fixieren. Die Bluse ist zu kurz, um sie zu Hosen zu tragen, also ist das hier die perfekte Kombi bei zwei schwierigen Kandidaten für ordentliche Outfits. Ich hoffe, die meisten von euch müssen nicht samstags arbeiten, aber ich wünsche euch allen einen wunderbaren Tag! 🖤 #plussize #plussizeoutfit #plussizeblogger #luziehtan #celebratemysize #honormycurves #effyourbodystandards

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Letzter Arbeitstag...

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Eine Arbeitswoche mit Lu - heute mal mit ein bisschen Ausschnitt. Zur Feier des Tages wurde ich heute von einer Kundin zur Schwangerschaft beglückwünscht - kann man auch mal machen. Im Gegenzug wurde ich heute aber überschwänglich gelobt, für besonders nette und (Achtung!) kompetente Beratung! Wenn ihr also eine Brille braucht, wisst ihr Bescheid, zu wem ihr kommen müsst. Meine Möppis und ich empfehlen euch da gern was Schönes! So. Morgen noch. Vielleicht doch nochmal ein Kleid? Mal sehen. Erst mal duschen und dann ab ins Bett. Ein bisschen kränkel‘ ich und um ehrlich zu sein, sind die drei 10-Stunden-Tage (trotz einer Stunde Pause) doch immer noch ziemlich bescheiden, vor allem, wenn Tag 3/3 auf einen Samstag fällt, da ist nämlich Anarchie im Laden. Was man nicht alles für sein Gehalt tut...

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Eine Arbeitswoche...

#TimeToGrowUp

• Time to grow up | VII – About one year… •

By Posted on 9 17.6K views

One year. Wow. It’s already been a whole year since I moved back to Hamburg, the city I love and where I feel at home. One year and so many things happened, so many changes, so many challenges, so many memories – great ones and not so great ones. It’s been a thrilling year, so I feel like writing a recap is obligatory to share my last year with you.

• Time to grow up | VI – About failing and fighting… •

By Posted on 5 6.5K views

Oh, where to start? It’s time for a life update. I’m utterly sad that I don’t really find enough time for blogging anymore. Blogging as it was before is definitely over, but I guess that’s part of completely changing your life. And that’s fine. I’ve decided to blog about things that matter to me, topics that I find important and obviously all those changes in my life. Yes, I miss posting my outfits, but I’m happy to say that I still upload my looks on Instagram, even though I don’t really like that shallow platform. But nowadays, you have to go with the flow and there’s probably no better place to post what I wear than on Instagram, because it’s easy and fast and I can also show you my everyday looks without feeling bad cause I wanted my blog to be a place for high fashion and edgy looks, not only the stuff you can easily wear for running errands. I mostly show you my work looks now, which – thanks to my little job in the fashion store – luckily aren’t that boring (but it looks like I’m only wearing jeans anymore, haha! It’s just perfect for the job, comfy and easily combinable…) and from time to time, we shoot some outfits with store items that I like. My colleague is so nice to help by taking the pictures and she’s pretty good at it! I guess, I should hire her as my new photographer! :)

Well, but as today’s blog title says, I’m gonna write about failing – and fighting. And this is not easy to write. Right now, my life consists of fighting. Fighting to stay here in Hamburg, because it seems like I’m right back at the beginning, where I started last year when I came back – just with no money left. I’m seriously struggling and my situation is bad. Really bad. I’m not feeling great, I lost my second job, which was fun, due to the worst luck ever and it actually should’ve never been a reason to fire me because it’s just a natural risk of the work itself, but here I am, almost jobless again. All I have left right now is my mini job at the fashion store which luckily provides some money, but definitely not enough, not even enough to pay my rent – but that’s something I’m hopefully about to change cause what’s happening with our shared flat is also pretty bad and something I’m not taking anymore. I’m pissed off and I don’t wanna live in a shithole where the landlord just doesn’t care about anything but receiving way too much money. But that’s another story. My mental condition is that bad that even my physical condition is bad – I’ve lost a lot of weight, I’m not really hungry anymore, I keep becoming sick and I’m very tired. Tired of everything. 

And I’m scared. I’m literally scared. I don’t wanna leave Hamburg, it’s the place I love, it’s home. Whenever I remind myself that I’m here, I feel like I’m exactly where I should be, where I belong to. And I don’t wanna change this. I don’t wanna go. I don’t wanna say that I’ve failed completely. Right now, I “just” failed at being able to pay for living. That’s bad enough. I don’t wanna give up yet. Not everything I’ve already achieved in almost a year being back. Not living at my favorite place. I’m fighting. Probably not enough, cause I’m scared as hell, but I’m doing what I can. I’m trying my best. And I will continue to do so. But to be honest, May seems to be the last month I’m able to fight. I will have to find a job that pays for my life here. Otherwise, I have no other choice than giving up, even though this isn’t an option I want to accept yet. So here goes nothing: everything. It just has to work out this time. 

• Time to grow up | V – About bad relationships and new challenges… •

By Posted on 3 10.4K views

Well, I already mentioned it shorty in my December recap – and it’s clearly a story that needs more explanation. It’s not a pretty one and it definitely puts me and my character in a bad light, but I had no other choice, except for the one of giving up and even though I had to be the bad guy, the real asshole in this story, and it wasn’t the nice thing to do, it was the right thing to do.

• Time to grow up | IV – About getting divorced and unspoken words… •

By Posted on 18 13.2K views

It’s been a bit more than two weeks now, since I finally got divorced after about one year and a half. This was the last step of finishing a chapter of my life. I’ve been thinking a lot about what to write in this blog post. I feel like the divorce is putting a new label on me, even though I’m finally free. Even though I’ve been literally waiting every day for this moment, when my marriage is finally officially over. It felt like a huge weight lift from my heart when I came out of the court after those fifteen minutes, during which I had to see my ex for the last time and officially state that this marriage is over and that I definitely don’t pretend to make it work again. But being a divorced woman kind of labels me, even though it does not define me. This is something I will have to accept and surely will, as soon as possible. I’m glad that it’s over and I want to wear this label as proud as I can, because it all changed me in the most positive way.

The only thing is: I wanted to finally say something and had no chance to do so. You must know that our break-up happened without any personal contact. My ex decided to end our relationship taking the easiest way out: leaving me at my parents, driving back home alone without telling me so, hiding somewhere when I came after him, and then simply writing me a message on WhatsApp that it’s over. It was humiliating. I mean, the person I’ve spent 8 years with, decided to treat me so disrespectfully to end a marriage the most inappropriate way – via text message. And not even with an explanation. Back then, I decided to just take it like this and not say anything. But with the time going by, I wrote a letter to him which I actually wanted to give him on the day of our divorce. A letter which, at first, I was hoping he’d read because I had so much to say about the way he broke up with me. A letter which I almost forgot of after some time because it just became irrelevant – there was no need to say anything anymore. Just one last sentence.

But I didn’t say it. There was no chance to say it. So I’m writing it down.

I’m thankful for the past 18 months. Thankful for the chance to rewrite my life, to change myself, to be who I am now and who I’m going to be in the future. I’m not thankful for how I was „disposed“ but thankful for the decision to do it like this because it made everything easier for me. I’m thankful for the chance to understand that a person like this was never worth it to make my happiness and my life dependent of him, and to understand that I’m the only one to make my life the life I want to live. I don’t need someone else to make me happy.

So here it goes:

Thank you.