• Celebrating Diversity with Phylyda •

• Celebrating Diversity with Phylyda •

8

Photos: Julia Marie Werner
» Hamburg | Michelberger PR
Swimwear: Phylyda
Hair & Make-up: Michael Mayer
Assistant: Farina Witt
Models: Adelaida, Corina,
Eva, Beatrace,
Melanie, Ilgen-Nur

In the beginning of April, I went to a very special photo shoot with Phylyda. I met six other inspiring women and we took part of an amazing diversity project, all wearing Phylyda.

I don’t even know what to tell you since I’ve already been writing a lot about diversity, empowering others and that feeling of self-love and the love and acceptance we all should feel for the people around us. That’s why I want to leave you with these beautiful pictures that hopefully show how amazing it is to finally embrace yourself, embrace diversity and embrace others.

I hope you all love this project as much as I do and I want to invite you to read some articles about the shoot and some of my old Private posts that relate to the topic:

Interview with Lydia Maurer (founder of Phylyda) on i-D
Interview with Lydia Maurer on Edition F
My Private post about Diversity
My Private post about the “Fatkini”

Continue reading →

• Private VIII | Fat •

• Private VIII | Fat •

“You’re not fat, you’re beautiful!”

I very often read this and it is probably one of the comments that hurt fat people the most, even though its intention is to make someone happy and feel good. And even though at first it doesn’t even sound so bad, if you think about it, it’s not as nice as you might think.

You’re beautiful. Period.

Unfortunately, our society is still not open-minded enough to understand that “fat” doesn’t equal bad or ugly while “skinny” is the synonym for beauty and everything positive.
Being fat implies that at least one thing about you is negative – your body. And because of that you can’t be beautiful in the eyes of our society. Why’s that? This is completely wrong!

You can be skinny and beautiful and you can be fat and beautiful. There is no right and wrong.

But then again, there are those people who like to say: “If you just lost a few pounds, you’d be gorgeous!” – oh really? If you used your brain, you might be able to say something more intelligent!
If people think that I’m beautiful, why would they recommend that I lose weight to be “perfect” in their eyes? Just because I don’t fit in their manipulated idea of beauty, I don’t have to change for them. It’s them who need to change – to open their minds and start accepting diversity, other forms of beauty and that we don’t have to fulfill the beauty standards of our stupid society.

Please stop these insulting compliments! Because it’s not nice to tell someone that his or her beauty depends on their body shape – and your opinion about it.

“Stop calling yourself fat!”

Why should I? I’ve accepted my body and I’ve accepted that I am fat. Because I am fat. I am overweight and I wear an average size 44. There’s nothing wrong about it – as long as I am healthy and feel good, as long as I accept myself like this. And if I don’t, I should change something about it. May it be weight loss or a change of my look, my clothes, my hairstyle – everything is possible to make myself feel better.

It’s not about someone else telling me what I should think about myself or what I should call myself, even though telling me that I’m not fat is supposed to cheer me up. And it’s also not the right compliment to tell me that I’ve lost weight or look skinnier – it just feels like it because in our society, being thin is the ultimate and if you’ve achieved the goal of being skinny, people will be amazed by your “power” and “strength” and “discipline” – because fat people are non of this, they don’t have power, aren’t strong and discipline’s not part of their vocabulary. Oh hell!
Let’s start complimenting people by telling them how great they are, how amazing their characters are – not their bodies. Of course it’s right to compliment someone by telling them that you can see the change when someone’s working hard to feel better, but “you lost weight – you look great!” isn’t the best way to do so. It will continue to brainwash us all to think that being fat is the worst thing you can be.

I am fat.
AND beautiful.
AND happy.
AND sexy.
AND successful.
AND funny.
AND strong.
AND proud.
(AND SO MUCH MORE.)

• Private VII | Diversity •

• Private VII | Diversity •

UK size 14 ♥ UK size 24

Sooo, it’s not been too long since I wrote my → #ImNoAngel post. And currently we’re back at this whole model thing topic because of “Germany’s next Topmodel”. I know that most of my readers, you, are already open for the #bodypositive movement, open for self-confidence and self-love, open for diversity. But there are still enough people out there who like to use this show for two very negative things:

Belittling themselves: The first group sees these young girls, skinny and beautiful, and forgets that their beauty doesn’t mean that they’re ugly themselves. Just because you think that someone is beautiful doesn’t make you less beautiful! You’re beautiful in your own way, your uniqueness and – most importantly – you are beautiful no matter what you think is ugly about yourself. Please understand that beauty has many faces and skinny is as gorgeous as fat, tall is as charming as petite, and disabled people are as beautiful as non-disabled people,… EveryBODY is beautiful and that’s why diversity is the most wonderful thing we can celebrate when it comes to our bodies.

Bodyshaming: The other group loves to use those young girls’ skinny bodies as an example for sickness, the reason for eating disorders in our society (even though this may be true in some way, but that’s not the girls’ fault!) and call them ugly and disgusting. They come up with those discriminating quotes (dogs and bones, you remember?), calling them names and being pretty horrible, insulting young and easily influenced (by our society’s ideal) girls that they don’t even know – just because they’re skinny. Yes, there’s not only #fatshaming, but also #skinnyshaming. Shaming people because of their appearance is never acceptable. It’s not cool to shame fat people and it’s also not cool to shame skinny people. And it gets even worse if you want to stand up for one of these body types and use this as an excuse to say horrible things about the other.

#bodypositivity = all bodies are good bodies!

Both reactions are wrong. Absolutely wrong. #bodypositivity means that all bodies are good. Skinny bodies, fat bodies, white bodies, black bodies, tattooed bodies, disabled bodies, bodies with scars, bodies with cellulite, bodies with stretch marks, male bodies, female bodies, trans bodies, heterosexual bodies, homosexual bodies,… (you get it – the list is looooooong because “every body” means EVERY BODY).

You know, looking at this picture above makes me happy. There’s mannequin diversity – because we need it, because we’re all different and because there’s not only a size 14 but also a 24, like there’s a size 4 and a 34. DIVERSITY is the key – and if there’s mannequin diversity, why don’t we accept that there’s body diversity too? Why don’t we celebrate that we’re all different and unique, a product of love and happiness, the biggest wonder of mankind? Why do we prefer to call ourselves ugly and disgusting, make others feel bad because of their looks, and even put ourselves down because we don’t look like that model on TV? Why do we accept and ask for diversity in every other area but not when it comes to ourselves?

I want you to know that you’re absolutely great the way you are. No matter how your body looks. Because – yup, there’s some cliché coming! – what really matters is the inside. Of course, human beings like to judge from the first look, that’s in our nature. But we should never stop after that first little glance at someone. Let’s get to know each other. Accept our differences and be curious, get to know them, talk about them, fall in love with them! Fall in love with others and even more with ourselves! Instead of spreading hate and destroy everyone’s confidence, we have to be open for diversity. Wouldn’t’ it be pretty boring if we all looked the same?