Oh July, you were a tough month! It’s so crazy how my life changed completely in only one day in July, on the 8th, when I sat in my car and drove to Hamburg to finally chase my dream to live here and be as independent as possible. I already wrote about → the first two weeks in my new column → #TimeToGrowUp, which I will update as soon and as often as possible, because I think that this is one of the most interesting times of my life and hopefully will show many other people who struggle with the same or similar problems in life, that you can achieve anything if you really want it and decide to fight for it. It’s a battle, it really is, but it’s absolutely worth it, even though it’s pretty hard.
It kind of wasn’t as easy as I expected to say goodbye to my hometown, my friends and even my therapist, because this time, leaving was different. I had changed a lot in this past 14 months and my relationship to my hometown and everything around had grown to be a bit different. I clearly miss my parents a lot, even though I know that leaving them is necessary and the right thing to do. I also miss my friends, especially my best friend who helped me a lot when I had to come back and stay for God knows who long it would take. And also my new friends, the friendships I made in this special changing time of my life. I miss my favorite sushi restaurant, my favorite bar, I miss driving around my hometown and the next city, finding a parking lot much easier. I miss driving to my photo shoots and having my old blogger life back for a few hours. I miss many things. But as much as I miss them, I’m happy that I made this step and left it all behind. Because leaving doesn’t mean to forget. I’m utterly thankful for everything I had in the past year, the safety of my home and my parents, the friendships, the possibility to “blossom” in a known environment. And I will forever remember that time of my life and how much it made me grow already, even though there’s still a lot of work to do.
So, for the moment, I’ve settled down in my little room, I’ve got everything I need, I got a bed (or something like it, still need an actual one, my back is gonna kill me soon), I got a desk, I got a few clothes (wasn’t prepared for THAT kind of summer, though!), I got my cat and he’s got everything he needs (even though he could clearly use a little more space but I’m glad that he’s a very comfy little guy who sleeps most of the time and is okay with our current situation – he’s not going crazy and he gets a lot of love from me and also my friend!). And I got a job. And it was already super hard – I knew it wouldn’t be easy but I kind of underestimated it a little bit, concerning the physical work, especially in combination with these temperatures (which are even higher in the truck). I’m also looking for a second job, because my work at the food truck will not pay for everything and I will definitely need more money, especially when I want to move out of our shared flat, which is supposed to be in five months.
This month, I didn’t manage to do something from → my bucket list, except for maybe sitting in the park alone – it wasn’t on my bucket list but is definitely a part of “doing things alone”, which is something I still need to do more often. So no official check-off, but something to mention. I didn’t like it, by the way. I felt very lonely in the middle of many people sitting around me with their friends or partners, doing picnics or drinking beer. Since it was very spontaneous, I didn’t bring a book and I guess that it would’ve been a bit nicer if I could’ve read something. Next time, I’ll make sure to have a book with me. Oh, and since I’m already talking about it: only read one book this month – “Wenn’s einfach wär, würd’s jeder machen” by Petra Hülsmann. As all books from her, I loved it. :)