• Private XII | (Don’t) #droptheplus •

• Private XII | (Don’t) #droptheplus •
Why I think that #droptheplus is a bad idea…
…at the moment.
(and other hashtag ideas we should use instead)

We’ve worked so hard to make plus size socially acceptable (and we’re still not done with it!). The last two years have been a major success for fat people, not only women but also men. And yet people keep using the hashtag #droptheplus, asking everybody to stop saying or using the term “plus size” – as if it were a bad thing!

Let’s not lie – fat isn’t the same as skinny (duh!). And it will still take a long time for everybody to understand that even though we don’t all look the same (especially when it comes to our body shapes), all (sizes) are equal. Of equal value and equally beautiful.

#dropthenegativity • #mybodyismyfriend

It isn’t wrong to use a special term to describe plus people, as long as we don’t make it a negative one. So:  #dropthenegativity!

Mankind has always liked and will forever continue to describe things, that’s why we have such describing adjectives as skinny and fat, but also tall and short, blonde and brown-haired, green-eyed and blue-eyed,… and usually, these adjectives are used in a neutral or even positive way. It’s never bad to be a tall, skinny, blonde and blue-eyed girl. Or being a short, skinny, brown-haired girl with green eyes. The only bad thing a girl (and also a boy) can be is fat. Fat is ugly. Fat is negative. You could even start to cross out “fat” in the dictionary and replace it with “ugly” – nobody would even care. Just that you wouldn’t have a specific word left to really hurt somebody. “You’re fat!” – it’s not “you’re resentful, envious, deceptive or intrigant” that’s bad. You’re only disgusting when you’re fat.

Why do we always see our body as our enemy? It’s a gift, a miracle – and it is our friend!

#proudofbeingme • #dropthestupideuphemisms

And yes, I do understand that maybe, by dropping the plus, the fat, the ugly, we’ll be able to make fat the same as skinny. But still – even if we don’t mention the difference, it will still be there, you can see it and people will notice it and – at least in their heads – make up their minds about it. If they don’t think about you with the word “plus size”, they’ll probably do it with the word “fat” or “curvy” (or one of those horribly ridiculous words for fat women like “fluffy” or “queen-sized” – please just stop using them, they’re embarrassing!). And that’s okay. Because we don’t look the same. And this is something we should be proud of. Proud of diversity. Proud of us being individuals and not copies.

#curvysexa-fuckoff
(well, maybe don’t use this as a hashtag…)

I’m more than disappointed when I see people use the hashtag #droptheplus, especially when it comes from plus people themselves. We even have plus-size role models and pioneers like Ashley Graham saying that they don’t want to be called plus. And this makes me angry. Because people like Ashley are not only changing the world as a plus model (!) but also making money out of it. Ashley isn’t known for being one of the regular models on the cover of “Sports Illustrated” – she was the first plus-sized model to be there. She’s being paid and is known for being plus and being amazing just like that – and yet she prefers being called a stupid and ridiculous word like “cuvysexalicious” – because being sexualized due to your curves seems to be better than being called fat (well… – but we could be at a point where especially thanks to her we could turn “fat” and “plus size” into something positive!).

#fatisnotevil

Dropping the plus would be the same as ignoring who we are. Because we need to claim back the words fat and plus size and make them as neutral and positive as all those other describing adjectives – because being fat is nothing else but the same as all the other body types. As long as we feel good being ourselves like that.

There may come a day when the world is ready to stop describing and dividing in categories, but until then, let’s just stop being so superficial. Let’s be fat and skinny, tall and short, blonde and brown-haired, blue-eyed and green-eyed – and show everyone that this is just the surface of endless adjectives that make us wonderful, amazing and beautiful. Because we’re more than just our bodies.

#morethanjustmybody

• Private X | My Body is not your Fetish •

• Private X | My Body is not your Fetish •

My Body is not your Fetish by Lu zieht an.® | Photo: Rebecca Wunsch

Photos: Rebecca Wunsch

Today’s topic is sexist behavior, fat as a fetish and my feelings towards it all. I know that my point of view may not be everyone else’s, but it is something that I want to write and express my thoughts about because with the ongoing growth, especially on my social media channels, the messages which I receive and which are obviously sexist come way more often than they should. Actually, there should be none. Because my body belongs to myself, even though I show it to you, to everyone on the Internet, and therefore also to many people who have a fat fetish. Being in public doesn’t mean that strangers are allowed to write me private messages on Instagram and/or Facebook asking for nudes (or foot photos or my old shoes), sending me pictures of their penises, proposing to me (of course, I’ll totally say yes and marry someone who didn’t even think of introducing himself – and forgot to check if I’m already married!) or asking to be my slave. My body is not their fetish and I’m not here to be a part of their inappropriate sexual behavior on the Internet.

Continue reading →

• Private IX | Glorifying Obesity •

• Private IX | Glorifying Obesity •

Luziehtan von Katarina Kühl

Illustration: Katarina Kühl
“This is unhealthy!”
“You’re gonna get diabetes!”
“You’re slowly killing yourself!”
“Look in the mirror, this isn’t beautiful!”

“Stop glorifying obesity!”

Just a few of the comments regarding fat people’s health. The commenters seem to be interested in their health but truth is: they’re not really concerned about me having any problems because I’m fat. They’re concerned about having to see me being fat.
And they’d actually love to see me feel bad because then they could say: “See, I was right, look at you now!”

If people are so interested in playing doctor with me, why don’t they also ask if I already visited my gynecologist? Why don’t they remind me to go to the dentist twice a year? Why don’t they ask me about my mental health? About my diabetes, which I already have because I was born with it and haven’t “gained” through being fat?

Why don’t they tell every smoker to stop smoking because it’s indeed unhealthy?

Why don’t they tell every ballerina to stop dancing because it ruins their feet?

Why don’t they tell every driver to stop driving because it’s dangerous?

Why don’t they tell every boxer to stop beating one another because of serious facial, head and therefore also brain injuries?

Why don’t they tell everyone in summer to stop sun-bathing because it causes skin cancer?

The thing is: people just feel uncomfortable seeing fat people who feel good and are stylish. Because we keep being told that fat isn’t good, that we need to lose weight to be beautiful and sexy. That fat people can’t look good, because fat is ugly.

So when these people see someone fat who’s not that society and media stereotype (fat and ugly, disgusting and not taking care of themselves, eating like a pig, not working out, not styling themselves and all those stupid prejudices), they just don’t know how to deal with the fact that someone fat DOES look good, that someone fat is beautiful and stylish, takes care of him or herself and just feels so confident about it that he or she shows it to the world.

So they come up with all those excuses that allow them to shame those people, calling them unhealthy and claiming that they glorify obesity, which is complete bullshit.

Please let me explain why I (and pretty sure other plus bloggers too!) do all this – the blog, my outfit posts, the Private column, encouraging my readers to wear whatever they want, whenever they want:

I blog because I want people to know that you should love yourself and your body, no matter which size you wear – because it’s about feeling good and you can definitely feel good with a larger size too. And as I always say: being healthy and feeling good are the most important things in your life! And if at least one of them doesn’t work for you anymore, you have to do something about it. Be it weight loss or something superficial, like a new outfit, a new hairdo or a new make-up – there are many options.
Above all, I want to celebrate diversity. Celebrate that there’s not only this one ideal but many other forms around it, bigger and smaller.
Glorifying obesity is not my message, and honestly: who gets the feeling “I have to gain weight and be fat too!” when he or she looks at my pictures? I dare to say: not one single person. Because my message isn’t to get fat or like being fat, but to feel good – even though you’re fat. And that’s something different.
I want to inspire, show outfits and “support” my reader’s – your! – creativity when you see me and my looks. I want you to feel that being fat is no stop sign for fashion, for feeling beautiful and loved and that being fat is okay, as long as you accept yourself like this and feel good and healthy. There’s no need to change for someone else and especially not for our society.

Nobody has to copy me, but everyone’s invited to do so.

Just a few lines about the illustration: Katarina asked me if she could do an illustration of me, and since I always feel truly honored and flattered that people really take their time to draw me (I mean: me, I’m not even famous or so!), I said yes and she surprised me with this incredible picture! I thought it’s funnily perfect for this post since I look like a saint (talking about glorifying). :) Thank you again a thousand times for this amazing illustration – can’t wait to put it on my wall. ♥

• Private VIII | Fat •

• Private VIII | Fat •

“You’re not fat, you’re beautiful!”

I very often read this and it is probably one of the comments that hurt fat people the most, even though its intention is to make someone happy and feel good. And even though at first it doesn’t even sound so bad, if you think about it, it’s not as nice as you might think.

You’re beautiful. Period.

Unfortunately, our society is still not open-minded enough to understand that “fat” doesn’t equal bad or ugly while “skinny” is the synonym for beauty and everything positive.
Being fat implies that at least one thing about you is negative – your body. And because of that you can’t be beautiful in the eyes of our society. Why’s that? This is completely wrong!

You can be skinny and beautiful and you can be fat and beautiful. There is no right and wrong.

But then again, there are those people who like to say: “If you just lost a few pounds, you’d be gorgeous!” – oh really? If you used your brain, you might be able to say something more intelligent!
If people think that I’m beautiful, why would they recommend that I lose weight to be “perfect” in their eyes? Just because I don’t fit in their manipulated idea of beauty, I don’t have to change for them. It’s them who need to change – to open their minds and start accepting diversity, other forms of beauty and that we don’t have to fulfill the beauty standards of our stupid society.

Please stop these insulting compliments! Because it’s not nice to tell someone that his or her beauty depends on their body shape – and your opinion about it.

“Stop calling yourself fat!”

Why should I? I’ve accepted my body and I’ve accepted that I am fat. Because I am fat. I am overweight and I wear an average size 44. There’s nothing wrong about it – as long as I am healthy and feel good, as long as I accept myself like this. And if I don’t, I should change something about it. May it be weight loss or a change of my look, my clothes, my hairstyle – everything is possible to make myself feel better.

It’s not about someone else telling me what I should think about myself or what I should call myself, even though telling me that I’m not fat is supposed to cheer me up. And it’s also not the right compliment to tell me that I’ve lost weight or look skinnier – it just feels like it because in our society, being thin is the ultimate and if you’ve achieved the goal of being skinny, people will be amazed by your “power” and “strength” and “discipline” – because fat people are non of this, they don’t have power, aren’t strong and discipline’s not part of their vocabulary. Oh hell!
Let’s start complimenting people by telling them how great they are, how amazing their characters are – not their bodies. Of course it’s right to compliment someone by telling them that you can see the change when someone’s working hard to feel better, but “you lost weight – you look great!” isn’t the best way to do so. It will continue to brainwash us all to think that being fat is the worst thing you can be.

I am fat.
AND beautiful.
AND happy.
AND sexy.
AND successful.
AND funny.
AND strong.
AND proud.
(AND SO MUCH MORE.)

♥