• Recap | September •

• Recap | September •

Time flies! October’s almost over and I haven’t even written my September recap yet! I’ve really been pretty busy, and here’s what happened last month…

September started with the year’s most fashionable event – the Plus Size Fashion Days! I still have to write an extra post about it, so I hope that you can still be a bit patient with me – I’ll post as many pictures as possible!! And I really hope that – as every year – there’ll be a video as well! :) This year, my mom finally made it to the show – she visited me at home and went to see me on the catwalk and we spent a day in Hamburg together. I’m still happy that I got to have her here with me. ♥

I had two trial days at my now new job, in order to see if I like it and if we’re a match – and I got the job. Right now it’s just a temporary work thingy, but we’ll see how everything works out and maybe make it a part-time job! :) I’m happy to let you know that I’m working at the Kurvenhaus now, so if you’re here and looking for a plus-size shop in Hamburg, come around! :)

September was my sunset month – I wanted to see as many sunsets as possible, sitting at my happy place. Well, didn’t work out as good as planned, but I got to see four stunning sunsets and took a lot of pictures. I also met a few friends and also new people and had a great time! Especially at the Junipalooza (it’s a Gin tasting festival), where I made new friends and found the most amazing Gin ever (Warner Edwards “Rhubarb Gin” – gosh, it’s just perfect!).

And yeah, September 26 was the most important day of the month – my divorce! I wrote about it → in this post and with this, that whole chapter of my life is finally over and I can’t wait to continue my marvellous life! :)

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• Recap | August •

• Recap | August •

Whoa, what happened? It’s been some time since I last updated you guys on the blog and I’m really sorry – I guess, life has happened, and an absolutely amazing summer which I tried to enjoy to the fullest. So… let’s recap August!

August started with my first festival ever – “A Summer’s Tale”. But I didn’t go there as a visitor, I went there for work. Three days of foodtruck fun at a pretty nice festival, even though unfortunately, I didn’t pick up much of the music (and missed one amazing band, Grizzly Bear, but shit happens, huh?). It definitely wasn’t easy, to be honest, I was completely exhausted after these days cause it was super hot and therefore even hotter in the truck and we were all working real hard. But it was worth it. Even though I realized that this won’t be my favorite job experience ever. It’s fun to work with people and I like to communicate with everybody, but physically, it’s way too hard for me (to be honest). Apparently, life saw this too and yelled “Hold my beer!”, cause my next job experience is about to happen soon and I’m excited to see where it’s gonna lead me to…

I finally had a new photo shoot in August, with the most wonderful → Julia Marie Werner, in collaboration with a → friend’s agency and the brands → Süperb and → Secondella, and I can’t wait to show you the cool looks we shot on yet another hot summer day. :)

I went to a casting for a movie in Berlin, had my first job interview, met new friends, including a visit from → Mona from the Netherlands, and I had a model job on a little fashion show at the Kurvenhaus, a local plus-size store here in Hamburg, just a week before the Plus Size Fashion Days (but these remain for the September recap). :)

All in all, August was a very hot month, full of new experiences and wonderful people. I got to know who my friends are and went on a few strolls through the city, found two new jobs, but am still searching for a new place to live, so that’s gonna stay interesting for a while. But I’m on it. And I’m curious to see what’s gonna happen next!

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• Recap | July •

• Recap | July •

Oh July, you were a tough month! It’s so crazy how my life changed completely in only one day in July, on the 8th, when I sat in my car and drove to Hamburg to finally chase my dream to live here and be as independent as possible. I already wrote about → the first two weeks in my new column → #TimeToGrowUp, which I will update as soon and as often as possible, because I think that this is one of the most interesting times of my life and hopefully will show many other people who struggle with the same or similar problems in life, that you can achieve anything if you really want it and decide to fight for it. It’s a battle, it really is, but it’s absolutely worth it, even though it’s pretty hard.

It kind of wasn’t as easy as I expected to say goodbye to my hometown, my friends and even my therapist, because this time, leaving was different. I had changed a lot in this past 14 months and my relationship to my hometown and everything around had grown to be a bit different. I clearly miss my parents a lot, even though I know that leaving them is necessary and the right thing to do. I also miss my friends, especially my best friend who helped me a lot when I had to come back and stay for God knows who long it would take. And also my new friends, the friendships I made in this special changing time of my life. I miss my favorite sushi restaurant, my favorite bar, I miss driving around my hometown and the next city, finding a parking lot much easier. I miss driving to my photo shoots and having my old blogger life back for a few hours. I miss many things. But as much as I miss them, I’m happy that I made this step and left it all behind. Because leaving doesn’t mean to forget. I’m utterly thankful for everything I had in the past year, the safety of my home and my parents, the friendships, the possibility to “blossom” in a known environment. And I will forever remember that time of my life and how much it made me grow already, even though there’s still a lot of work to do. 

So, for the moment, I’ve settled down in my little room, I’ve got everything I need, I got a bed (or something like it, still need an actual one, my back is gonna kill me soon), I got a desk, I got a few clothes (wasn’t prepared for THAT kind of summer, though!), I got my cat and he’s got everything he needs (even though he could clearly use a little more space but I’m glad that he’s a very comfy little guy who sleeps most of the time and is okay with our current situation – he’s not going crazy and he gets a lot of love from me and also my friend!). And I got a job. And it was already super hard – I knew it wouldn’t be easy but I kind of underestimated it a little bit, concerning the physical work, especially in combination with these temperatures (which are even higher in the truck). I’m also looking for a second job, because my work at the food truck will not pay for everything and I will definitely need more money, especially when I want to move out of our shared flat, which is supposed to be in five months.

This month, I didn’t manage to do something from → my bucket list, except for maybe sitting in the park alone – it wasn’t on my bucket list but is definitely a part of “doing things alone”, which is something I still need to do more often. So no official check-off, but something to mention. I didn’t like it, by the way. I felt very lonely in the middle of many people sitting around me with their friends or partners, doing picnics or drinking beer. Since it was very spontaneous, I didn’t bring a book and I guess that it would’ve been a bit nicer if I could’ve read something. Next time, I’ll make sure to have a book with me. Oh, and since I’m already talking about it: only read one book this month – “Wenn’s einfach wär, würd’s jeder machen” by Petra Hülsmann. As all books from her, I loved it. :)

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• Recap | June •

• Recap | June •

Yay, we made it through the first half of the year! June is over and it was the most exciting month for me – because it brought the best news ever. I won’t torture you, so here’s the biggest news ever: I’m finally going back to Hamburg! It’s going to be a huge adventure for me and actually a part of my → #SingleBucketList, because I’m being kind of spontaneous and I’m doing new things. I’ll be moving in with a friend at first, we’re gonna share a flat and I’ll have a small room, so it’s gonna be a little bit like last year when I had to leave my stuff behind and could only bring the important things and my cat – that’s exactly what I’m gonna do again. I’m leaving most of my possessions at my parents and am currently packing my stuff for Sunday, when I’ll do another huge thing: I’m driving by car to Hamburg, which means about 6-7 hours of driving alone (with my cat who likes to leak out of all his holes in the car, so the smell is gonna kill me and we’re gonna have to take a shower together afterwards, haha!). I was always very afraid of that, but driving more after 7 years of not driving, kind of got me back at not being a bundle of fear in the car anymore. So I’m gonna do this and I’ll be insanely proud of myself when I arrive safe and sound at my old new home with my friend. I’m so happy and thankful that she gave me this possibility cause it will definitely make things easier for me to find my own place when I’m around. So here’s a little asking for help: if you know someone or anything about a flat – let me know! I’m happy for any tips!

And another exciting story: I found a job! I’m not gonna tell you yet which job I found, but if everything works out and I’m definitely in, you’ll be the first to know, promise! I went to Hamburg for a trial work day and it was so cool, I really loved it and had a lot of fun, so I can’t wait to start my new work! Of course, I’ll continue blogging, but as you already noticed, it’s not that easy to make it happen like all those years before. Plus, as you read in → my latest Private post, I don’t wanna be that shallow anymore, so I feel like the new me will need a new blog, somehow. I’ll have to find out how to work on the outfit posts, will have to find a new photographer (and will miss the amazing friend I made here, → Jacqueline, who took amazing pictures of me while being here!) and I want to start writing more, share stories with you and maybe also write more about Hamburg, places I love, experiences I’ll make with this new start. I’m so looking forward to all this! ♥

June also had another amazing experience for me: I went on my first real vacation. You know, I’ve → already been in Brazil before but, to be honest, that’s no vacation since it means spending time with my family. As much as I love my family, it’s super stressfull, plus Brazil really makes me nervous because it’s such a dangerous place, so that’s not really “going on a vacation”. So, it happened in the beginning of June that I kind of felt like doing something crazy and decided to go to Stockholm for five days. I found cheap flights and a nice hotel and booked my vacation in under five hours. It felt so incredible to do it, especially because I’ve always loved Scandinavia – when I was around 15 years old, I wanted to learn Finnish because I was a huge fan of the band Rasmus and that’s how my love for Finland began, but I also really liked Sweden, so when I saw this nice offer, I just went for it and flew to Stockholm on the 21st. I had a great time there, found a new friend but also spend time alone and overcame my fear of almost everything: I took the subway on my own, walked around unknown places alone, I even rented a car with my friend and drove it (so crazy – a year ago I was actually afraid of driving in Hamburg!), went for lunch and also dinner alone,… and I saw so many amazing locations, including a lovely lake where I spent a perfect summer day at. I’ll definitely come back again! ♥

And my last appointment of June was the last session with my therapist. I really have to say that this was the most amazing thing I’ve done in the twelve months. Such a good decision to start a therapy and getting help! I can only repeat how important it was for my development, especially after the break-up but also for my whole existence. It’s unbelievable how fearful I was, that I didn’t do anything anymore and how scared I was of living a normal life. It’s so amazing to see the progress I made, how many wonderful things I’ve done – from starting to drive again to going out on my own and even going all the way to a city where I’ve never been before, just to see a concert – alone. I’m proud of myself. And it makes me the happiest person ever to be able to say that. ♥

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