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[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Ich wäre dann ready für einen schönen Freitagabend! ☁️ Kommt jemand mit? 😏 #plussize #plussizeoutfit #plussizeblogger #luziehtan #celebratemysize #honormycurves #effyourbodystandards

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Ich wäre...

Miss Monstera 2019, haha! 🦖 #plussize #plussizeoutfit #plussizeblogger #luziehtan #celebratemysize #honormycurves #effyourbodystandards

Miss Monstera 2019, haha! 🦖...

Legs for days. 💁🏼‍♀️ #plussize #plussizeoutfit #plussizeblogger #luziehtan #celebratemysize #honormycurves #effyourbodystandards

Legs for days. 💁🏼‍♀️ #plussize...

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Habt eine tolle Woche, ihr Lieben!! ♥️ #plussize #plussizeoutfit #plussizeblogger #luziehtan #celebratemysize #honormycurves #effyourbodystandards

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Habt eine...

🎵 I swear to God, I wasn't born to fight
Maybe just a little bit, enough to make me sick of it
But I can read between the lines
I want to run from everything
But my legs won't work, it's clear to me

I haven't been much myself
And I feel like my friends are being put through this hell I'm feeling
I think that I'm living, if you could call it living
So brash and unforgiving
Ruled by the vibe I'm bringing
Serving myself 🎶 „Bambi“ • @thehalocline

🎵 I swear to God,...

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Die Insulinpumpe an der Hüfte ruiniert zwar so ein bisschen die schöne Form des Kleides, aber wir wollen mal nicht so sein! Ich hatte heute einen tollen Abend auf dem neuen Floor „Olive“ im @east_cosmos - zusammen mit @maccosmeticsdeutschland, die mich für den Abend hübsch geschminkt haben (siehe Stories!). Da war viel los heute, in jedem Zimmer eine Überraschung, vom Make-up über Champagner, live zubereitetes Sushi vom Meister (oh, und das im East ist auch wirklich mit das beste Sushi hier in Hamburg!), Fotoboxen, einer kurzen Massage, bis hin zu einem kleinen, aber feinen Tattoo (das sind ja irgendwie die neuen Cupcakes und Cakepops der Eventszene!) war alles dabei, sogar ein Mini-Casino, aber natürlich standen auch die wirklich sehr schönen neuen Zimmer im Fokus, die zwar so gar nicht „typisch East“ sind, aber wirklich absolut traumhaft geworden sind! Chapeau! Ich wäre am liebsten direkt über Nacht geblieben, aber dann wäre Spucki wohl traurig gewesen. 🤓 So, jetzt Füße hoch, die High Heels waren nämlich auch nicht ohne. 😅 #plussize #plussizeoutfit #plussizeblogger #luziehtan #celebratemysize #honormycurves #effyourbodystandards #easthotelhamburg #flooropening #maccosmeticsdeutschland

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Die Insulinpumpe...

Ein kleines Selfie von gestern, darf auch mal sein. #instagramwiefrüher

Ein kleines Selfie von gestern,...

3 Steps to Happiness. ♥️ #justgimmeicecream

3 Steps to Happiness. ♥️...

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Diesen wunderbaren Kaftan kann ich euch natürlich nicht einfach so vorenthalten, da muss ein Komplettfoto her! 😍 Ich bin ja schon ein wenig verliebt in das Teil, aber bei mir steht kein dekadenter Sommerurlaub an, zu dem der passen würde, daher hab‘ ich mich für das Eis entschieden (Guave-Papaya, megalecker!!!), aber vielleicht kommt ja eine von euch im Kurvenhaus rum und nimmt das schöne Teil mit! 🤓 #plussize #plussizeoutfit #plussizeblogger #luziehtan #celebratemysize #honormycurves #effyourbodystandards

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Diesen wunderbaren...

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Genießt alle euer langes Wochenende! ♥️ #iscreamyouscreamweallscreamforicecream

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Genießt alle...

Private

• Time to grow up | V – About bad relationships and new challenges… •

By Posted on 3 6.5K views

Well, I already mentioned it shorty in my December recap – and it’s clearly a story that needs more explanation. It’s not a pretty one and it definitely puts me and my character in a bad light, but I had no other choice, except for the one of giving up and even though I had to be the bad guy, the real asshole in this story, and it wasn’t the nice thing to do, it was the right thing to do.

• Time to grow up | IV – About getting divorced and unspoken words… •

By Posted on 18 7.8K views

It’s been a bit more than two weeks now, since I finally got divorced after about one year and a half. This was the last step of finishing a chapter of my life. I’ve been thinking a lot about what to write in this blog post. I feel like the divorce is putting a new label on me, even though I’m finally free. Even though I’ve been literally waiting every day for this moment, when my marriage is finally officially over. It felt like a huge weight lift from my heart when I came out of the court after those fifteen minutes, during which I had to see my ex for the last time and officially state that this marriage is over and that I definitely don’t pretend to make it work again. But being a divorced woman kind of labels me, even though it does not define me. This is something I will have to accept and surely will, as soon as possible. I’m glad that it’s over and I want to wear this label as proud as I can, because it all changed me in the most positive way.

The only thing is: I wanted to finally say something and had no chance to do so. You must know that our break-up happened without any personal contact. My ex decided to end our relationship taking the easiest way out: leaving me at my parents, driving back home alone without telling me so, hiding somewhere when I came after him, and then simply writing me a message on WhatsApp that it’s over. It was humiliating. I mean, the person I’ve spent 8 years with, decided to treat me so disrespectfully to end a marriage the most inappropriate way – via text message. And not even with an explanation. Back then, I decided to just take it like this and not say anything. But with the time going by, I wrote a letter to him which I actually wanted to give him on the day of our divorce. A letter which, at first, I was hoping he’d read because I had so much to say about the way he broke up with me. A letter which I almost forgot of after some time because it just became irrelevant – there was no need to say anything anymore. Just one last sentence.

But I didn’t say it. There was no chance to say it. So I’m writing it down.

I’m thankful for the past 18 months. Thankful for the chance to rewrite my life, to change myself, to be who I am now and who I’m going to be in the future. I’m not thankful for how I was „disposed“ but thankful for the decision to do it like this because it made everything easier for me. I’m thankful for the chance to understand that a person like this was never worth it to make my happiness and my life dependent of him, and to understand that I’m the only one to make my life the life I want to live. I don’t need someone else to make me happy.

So here it goes:

Thank you.

• Time to grow up | III – About fears and worries… •

By Posted on 20 8.1K views

Now that everything got pretty much serious, after → moving and my start into the „normal“ work life (even though that was kinda „light“, since it’s still not a very regular story), being „alone“ (even though I’m sharing a flat with my friend, I’m most of the time on my own) and the whole changing, there are a few fears that said hello again and about which I want to write today. Who knows, maybe it helps to put them into words and see what you’re about to fight – kind of a #BucketListofFears.

• Private XXV | “Generation Beziehungsunfähig” •

By Posted on 25 7.1K views

Hey, I’ll just say it right now, I’m not looking for something serious, I’m freshly out of a relationship.“
„Hello, nice to match you – by the way, I’m just looking for fun!“
„Looking for a ‘friends with benefits’ – you in?“

I don’t even know when exactly it started – I was obviously way too long in a relationship and missed the moment when humanity decided that the model of a simple relationship of 10 years ago is not cool anymore.

Admittedly, I’m not back in that „dating game“ for so long and to be honest, I’m not doing this excessively – I normally use Tinder while on the toilet when I’m bored, and all those other dating apps are pretty proletarian and therefore aren’t my thing. It really makes me wonder why someone would use Lovoo or Badoo (does everything have to end on double-o?) voluntarily. Tinder is pretty much known as a sex app (someone once told me that the name comes from „Titty Finder“ – I kind of doubt that but it’s not too inappropriate), but it seems to be less full of freaks („fuckbois“ all over instead) and halfway respectable.

Of course, my profile says that someone like me – obviously an old school lady – is not looking for sex dates. I seriously don’t. 90% of my matches aren’t interested in that and they seem to think that I’m a prostitute that doesn’t have to be paid without even saying hello. Okay, no problem, you can „de-match“ these people. The remaining 10% are 8% „pretending to be nice and then I’ll drop the ‘I’m not looking for something serious’ bomb“, 1% total freaks and that’s why they’re single (#sorrynotsorry – there was a guy who wanted to cuddle with me while wearing diapers which he also actually uses) and 1% actual candidates for a first date. But that’s material for another Private post.

_
So now there are a few things I keep asking myself: