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My mood these days: desperate queen. 🙆🏼‍♀️ Bin nach wie vor nicht gerade glücklich (und man sieht es mir an) zur Zeit, aber das mit dem Aufstehen und Krönchen richten mache ich halt einfach wortwörtlich. Wäre ja blöd, einfach aufzugeben!

My mood these days: desperate...

Serenity. ♥️ #hamburgloveistruelove

Serenity. ♥️ #hamburgloveistruelove

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Letzten Monat auf der @eatandstyle kennengelernt und direkt mal verkuppelt: das wunderbare Grapefruit Tonic Water von @luscombedrinks.germany und der Sloe Gin von @feingeisterei_finespirits - ein perfect Match! ♥️

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Letzten Monat...

[Werbung | Advertisement] Monday got me like... okay, ist gelogen. So leicht bekleidet und happy bin ich an diesem Montag nicht, aber es ist trotzdem ein guter Tag - und wenn ich das Foto anschaue, kriege ich sowieso gute Laune, das war nämlich ein toller Tag mit @sueperbthelabel @keentheagency und @julia_marie_werner - und die Bilder von diesem fröhlichen Look gibt’s grad alle auf dem Blog! 😉 | 📷 @julia_marie_werner

[Werbung | Advertisement] Monday got...

Spucki und ich wünschen euch einen schönen ersten Advent. ♥️ Seid lieb zueinander!

Spucki und ich wünschen euch...

[Werbung | Advertisement] Auf dem Blog gibt’s einen neuen Look von meinem Shoot mit @sueperbthelabel und @secondellahamburg - würd‘ mich freuen, wenn ihr vorbeischaut! 💙 | 📷 @julia_marie_werner

[Werbung | Advertisement] Auf dem...

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] So this happened yesterday... 🖤 Thanks to the most wonderful and talented @rei.ink who created an absolutely perfect dream of a floral tattoo for me.

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] So this...

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Mal wieder ordentlich angezogen in eurem Feed, haha! 😉 Das hab‘ ich gestern beim X-mas Fashion Dinner mit @ernstingsfamily im @thefontenay_hamburg getragen und mich unheimlich über so viele Komplimente gefreut! Es war ein toller Abend, mit schöner Kleidung, leckerem Essen und wunderbaren Drinks! ♥️ #plussize #plussizeoutfit #plussizeblogger #luziehtan #celebratemysize #honormycurves #effyourbodystandards

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Mal wieder...

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Happy Sunday! No clothes, no problems - oder so ähnlich, haha! Ich bin ja nicht so der größte Fan von irgendwelchen deepen Sprüchen unter Instagramfotos, die meistens nicht mal wirklich zueinander passen, aber eins kann ich euch sagen: auch in dunklen Zeiten sollte man nicht vergessen, dass es wieder besser wird. Das muss ich mir grad selbst immer wieder ein bisschen vorhalten, denn seit einem Monat läuft hier einiges nicht so wie es sollte, aber ich will auch nicht aufgeben. Ich kämpfe grade sehr mit allem, vor allem auch mit mir selbst und meinem alten Ich, den Depressionen, Ängsten und Zweifeln. Ich weine viel, auch oft einfach so ganz plötzlich, dabei will ich nicht mehr so negativ sein, auch wenn es halt nunmal grad sehr negativ ist. Aber ich hab‘ mich in den letzten 1,5 Jahren so sehr aus dem Loch gekämpft, in dem ich war, und da will ich nicht wieder zurück. Ich habe so viele positive Veränderungen in meinem Leben erlebt (und glücklicherweise auch mit euch auf dem Blog geteilt) und schaue immer wieder mit Stolz darauf zurück. Ich will stark sein. Für mich selbst und meine Zukunft. Also kämpfe ich weiter und dann lasse ich auch diese dunklen Zeiten wieder hinter mir! Tschakka! ♥️ (Und WTF? Wie konnte dieser Post jetzt so unschuldig anfangen und so tiefgründig enden? Upsi.) | 📷 @theblondefreckles

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] Happy Sunday!...

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] #meinanutshell - bei Blödsinn immer als Erste mit dabei. Siehe Stories für das Ganze in Bewegtbild! Habt noch ein schönes Wochenende, ihr Lieben! ♥️ | 📷 @julia_marie_werner

[Werbung wegen Verlinkung] #meinanutshell -...

Random

• Recap | October •

By Posted on 0 1.6K views

Okay, okay, something’s extremely wrong with my timing – it’s almost December and there’s still no October recap online yet! So here we go… As you can imagine, my “new life” is pretty busy and I’m trying to focus on my work, since I have to make some money to be able to continue living here in Hamburg. Right now, it’s a pretty tricky situation and I’m hoping that in the end, everything will turn out alright and fine and that I don’t have to go back to “Plan Z” – going back home to my parents. But hey, that’s nothing for a recap post, it’s gonna be something for a #TTGU post that I want to write in the near future. Until then, let’s have a look at my highlights from October!

I was supposed to start working on October 2, but I caught a cold and was pretty knocked out, so I could only start at the second week of October. No worries, though, I’m still learning a lot, but it’s also a lot of fun and I really have amazing colleagues with whom work doesn’t feel like work. :) And there are so many lovely clients! It’s fun to help them choosing the right outfit and feeling a bit more self-confident and yes, I’m also super proud that especially thanks to my Instagram Stories (I keep uploading my ‘work look of the day’, so feel free to stop by my →  Instagram profile), there are also people coming around to see me. :) It’s so great to meet you and get to know you!

I had it already checked off my →  #SingleBucketList 2018, but I went for it for a second time: I went to another concert! Yay! This time, I didn’t have to travel far, because it was a concert here in Hamburg – I went to see Beach House, one of my favorite bands, which you may know from my musical recap of 2017. And it was an amazing evening, absolutely stunning. And yes: I went there alone again!

But here’s another point of my bucket list: go to a bar alone! I actually did it! At first, it felt weird and I was a bit nervous, but I felt like doing it and just went for it. Done. It was absolutely fine and even though I felt a little bit uncomfortable in the beginning, I quickly got used to it and already did it a few times more. Super easy, since I’m an extrovert and communicative person! I’m pretty proud that I made it happen. :)

Last big event of October was a vernissage which happened to be a huge meet-up of so many people from the plus-size blogosphere! There were people I haven’t seen in about 4 years and it was like a class reunion. So much love and →  so many positive vibes! And a great vernissage!

• Recap | September •

By Posted on 6 2.7K views

Time flies! October’s almost over and I haven’t even written my September recap yet! I’ve really been pretty busy, and here’s what happened last month…

September started with the year’s most fashionable event – the Plus Size Fashion Days! I still have to write an extra post about it, so I hope that you can still be a bit patient with me – I’ll post as many pictures as possible!! And I really hope that – as every year – there’ll be a video as well! :) This year, my mom finally made it to the show – she visited me at home and went to see me on the catwalk and we spent a day in Hamburg together. I’m still happy that I got to have her here with me. ♥

I had two trial days at my now new job, in order to see if I like it and if we’re a match – and I got the job. Right now it’s just a temporary work thingy, but we’ll see how everything works out and maybe make it a part-time job! :) I’m happy to let you know that I’m working at the Kurvenhaus now, so if you’re here and looking for a plus-size shop in Hamburg, come around! :)

September was my sunset month – I wanted to see as many sunsets as possible, sitting at my happy place. Well, didn’t work out as good as planned, but I got to see four stunning sunsets and took a lot of pictures. I also met a few friends and also new people and had a great time! Especially at the Junipalooza (it’s a Gin tasting festival), where I made new friends and found the most amazing Gin ever (Warner Edwards “Rhubarb Gin” – gosh, it’s just perfect!).

And yeah, September 26 was the most important day of the month – my divorce! I wrote about it → in this post and with this, that whole chapter of my life is finally over and I can’t wait to continue my marvellous life! :)

• Recap | August •

By Posted on 3 3.8K views

Whoa, what happened? It’s been some time since I last updated you guys on the blog and I’m really sorry – I guess, life has happened, and an absolutely amazing summer which I tried to enjoy to the fullest. So… let’s recap August!

August started with my first festival ever – “A Summer’s Tale”. But I didn’t go there as a visitor, I went there for work. Three days of foodtruck fun at a pretty nice festival, even though unfortunately, I didn’t pick up much of the music (and missed one amazing band, Grizzly Bear, but shit happens, huh?). It definitely wasn’t easy, to be honest, I was completely exhausted after these days cause it was super hot and therefore even hotter in the truck and we were all working real hard. But it was worth it. Even though I realized that this won’t be my favorite job experience ever. It’s fun to work with people and I like to communicate with everybody, but physically, it’s way too hard for me (to be honest). Apparently, life saw this too and yelled “Hold my beer!”, cause my next job experience is about to happen soon and I’m excited to see where it’s gonna lead me to…

I finally had a new photo shoot in August, with the most wonderful → Julia Marie Werner, in collaboration with a → friend’s agency and the brands → Süperb and → Secondella, and I can’t wait to show you the cool looks we shot on yet another hot summer day. :)

I went to a casting for a movie in Berlin, had my first job interview, met new friends, including a visit from → Mona from the Netherlands, and I had a model job on a little fashion show at the Kurvenhaus, a local plus-size store here in Hamburg, just a week before the Plus Size Fashion Days (but these remain for the September recap). :)

All in all, August was a very hot month, full of new experiences and wonderful people. I got to know who my friends are and went on a few strolls through the city, found two new jobs, but am still searching for a new place to live, so that’s gonna stay interesting for a while. But I’m on it. And I’m curious to see what’s gonna happen next!

• Recap | July •

By Posted on 8 3.7K views

Oh July, you were a tough month! It’s so crazy how my life changed completely in only one day in July, on the 8th, when I sat in my car and drove to Hamburg to finally chase my dream to live here and be as independent as possible. I already wrote about → the first two weeks in my new column → #TimeToGrowUp, which I will update as soon and as often as possible, because I think that this is one of the most interesting times of my life and hopefully will show many other people who struggle with the same or similar problems in life, that you can achieve anything if you really want it and decide to fight for it. It’s a battle, it really is, but it’s absolutely worth it, even though it’s pretty hard.

It kind of wasn’t as easy as I expected to say goodbye to my hometown, my friends and even my therapist, because this time, leaving was different. I had changed a lot in this past 14 months and my relationship to my hometown and everything around had grown to be a bit different. I clearly miss my parents a lot, even though I know that leaving them is necessary and the right thing to do. I also miss my friends, especially my best friend who helped me a lot when I had to come back and stay for God knows who long it would take. And also my new friends, the friendships I made in this special changing time of my life. I miss my favorite sushi restaurant, my favorite bar, I miss driving around my hometown and the next city, finding a parking lot much easier. I miss driving to my photo shoots and having my old blogger life back for a few hours. I miss many things. But as much as I miss them, I’m happy that I made this step and left it all behind. Because leaving doesn’t mean to forget. I’m utterly thankful for everything I had in the past year, the safety of my home and my parents, the friendships, the possibility to “blossom” in a known environment. And I will forever remember that time of my life and how much it made me grow already, even though there’s still a lot of work to do. 

So, for the moment, I’ve settled down in my little room, I’ve got everything I need, I got a bed (or something like it, still need an actual one, my back is gonna kill me soon), I got a desk, I got a few clothes (wasn’t prepared for THAT kind of summer, though!), I got my cat and he’s got everything he needs (even though he could clearly use a little more space but I’m glad that he’s a very comfy little guy who sleeps most of the time and is okay with our current situation – he’s not going crazy and he gets a lot of love from me and also my friend!). And I got a job. And it was already super hard – I knew it wouldn’t be easy but I kind of underestimated it a little bit, concerning the physical work, especially in combination with these temperatures (which are even higher in the truck). I’m also looking for a second job, because my work at the food truck will not pay for everything and I will definitely need more money, especially when I want to move out of our shared flat, which is supposed to be in five months.

This month, I didn’t manage to do something from → my bucket list, except for maybe sitting in the park alone – it wasn’t on my bucket list but is definitely a part of “doing things alone”, which is something I still need to do more often. So no official check-off, but something to mention. I didn’t like it, by the way. I felt very lonely in the middle of many people sitting around me with their friends or partners, doing picnics or drinking beer. Since it was very spontaneous, I didn’t bring a book and I guess that it would’ve been a bit nicer if I could’ve read something. Next time, I’ll make sure to have a book with me. Oh, and since I’m already talking about it: only read one book this month – “Wenn’s einfach wär, würd’s jeder machen” by Petra Hülsmann. As all books from her, I loved it. :)