Photos: Falko Blümlein
All outfit details will be available
A short while ago, I already revealed on Facebook that I’m part of the → #MeineSchönheit (#MyBeauty) campaign by Dove. It’s a huge honor to be amongst these incredibly amazing and individual women, each one of them with their own kind of beauty, even though our society tries to make them – us – feel like we’re not really a part of it. You’ll never please everybody, I’ve already said that very often, and it is definitely not your number one goal. Your number one goal should only be this: feel beautiful for yourself. Because your beauty is your choice. You don’t have to run after an ideal of beauty or femininity, an ideal which is unreachable for most of us and which we really don’t have to chase after. It’s about yourself, your uniqueness, your character, about how you feel beautiful. So my message of today’s post in collaboration with Dove is:
“My Beauty, My Say.”
And since there’s an amazing video accompanying the campaign, please watch it before you scroll down for the rest of this post…
I can definitely relate to this strong message and that’s why I’m so proud to be a part of it. I’m → representing “being plus size AND fashionable”. Because it’s still an issue that people say you can’t be fashionable when you’re fat. You can’t be stylish with “a body like that”. “Fashion is just for skinny people.” And here I am – ready to prove them wrong. ;) Or at least inspire everyone to think it all over and forget these thoughts. Fashion is for everyone!
At the beginning of this post, you can see one of my “classic” photos of my outfit posts. Today, I want to do a “Get ready with me…”, show you how this look came into being and talk about how I found my style, my way to express myself through fashion – my beauty.
The first step of getting ready is taking a shower, of course. :) I love taking hot showers, taking my time, and using products with a lovely smell – I love creamy and floral scents, just by the way. :) While preparing this collaboration, I got in touch with Dove’s “DermaSpa” range (the golden “goodness³” products) and I really love the smell of it. My favorite product is definitely this little pot, the “Body Creme”, which has a delicious texture and really nourishes the skin. To be honest, I’m really bad when it comes to body lotions and creams, I’m simply too lazy. But I can’t get enough of this smell, so I’m kind of addicted and really using it regularly after taking a shower. Plus: there’s also a body oil, a regular body lotion and (best thing ever!) a hand cream, and they all smell the same! ;)
I think the whole process of taking a shower and caring for your skin, your body, is the first step of becoming one with yourself. It’s so important to not only get dressed afterwards, but also spend some quality time alone with your favorite beauty rituals. It may sound a bit weird but touching your body while applying the cream will also have an impact on how you feel about yourself. I think that body contact is something that’s really important – the more time you spend seeing and feeling your body, the closer you get to loving it.
I love the power of make-up – it’s such a relaxing thing to apply all those different textures, colors and finishes on your face! And it’s always such a surprise to see what you can do with make-up! I’ve always been interested in lipsticks, since I was a little kid, it’s been my passion from the beginning – getting older and learning more and more, expanding my collection and knowledge, especially through blogging, has been a great evolution for me. If there’s a bad day and you don’t like seeing yourself in the mirror – try your favorite look! We all have a kind of signature look – mine, by now, is pretty natural (even though I really love colors and it was a major thing for me in the first years of blogging) and helps me feel “like myself” on days when I look in the mirror and don’t feel beautiful at all. Well yes, there are such days – we all have them and even though I’m very positive on my blog, there sure are days on which I don’t feel amazing at all. It’s natural. And it’s okay! We’re all allowed to feel bad and ugly sometimes – we just have to take care and not let these feelings towards ourselves overwhelm us.
And in the end, feeling beautiful is not about make-up. Even though I love experimenting with make-up and creating not only natural but also very dramatic looks, I love myself just as much without it all, and I also like to leave the house with a naked face. That’s another point of what I meant by “touching yourself and seeing yourself” – we first need to love ourselves the way we were born, the way we are when there’s no make-up or clothes to hide our bad days.
Choosing an outfit is my favorite part of getting ready – it’s where I can be creative and totally be myself. Myself, that’s always someone different but always me. :) Through the years I found out that I love extravagant looks – I don’t like to go with the flow, follow every trend (but some of them!) and, in the end, just be a part of the crowd. I like to stand out and yes – sometimes, that’s not so funny because many don’t like that. Why? Because I’m fat – and according to them and our society, I’m supposed to hide. Because I can’t be fashionable. I’m not allowed to be fashionable.
And that’s just when today’s message is important – it’s my choice! I choose what I want to wear. I choose how I want to feel. I choose what’s beautiful to me. Just for me.
Blogging about my outfits has – right from the beginning – opened a door for all those who don’t like to see fat people being fine with their looks. It’s incredible how much hate I received since day one. “You can’t wear this!”, “Stop buying your clothes too small!”, “Look in the mirror, you’re fat and ugly!”, “You look disgusting!”, “This isn’t beautiful!” – these are just some of the “nicer” negative comments I kept receiving. People just hated me for… well, I don’t even know for what. They told me that I’m a piece of s***. They said that I shouldn’t be wearing this or that because I’m fat and that it looks gross and that I’m supposed to hide my “problem areas”. Total strangers telling me that I’m something that makes them want to throw up. Total strangers giving me advice I never asked for. It was weird to read all this and in the beginning, I actually started to wonder if I was really that horrible that people felt the urge to tell me all those nasty things. I’m so happy that I quickly understood that this is the Internet – that people finally get to say all these insults without having to actually look me in the eye. It’s easy to be like that when there’s no “face to face” situation, when your opposite doesn’t even have the chance to say something against what you just did. And the moment I understood that these people didn’t matter to me, I let it all go in one ear and out the other. It doesn’t hurt me, it just sometimes totally annoys me. Like an annoying bee buzz in my ears.
I decided that it was my job to be a role model for those who actually listen to these voices. For those who get hurt by those horrible people’s looks and laughters and words. I decided that I had to encourage others to follow my lead, to simply stop listening to others. It’s my choice what I want to wear and it’s my choice when I feel beautiful not only in what I’m wearing but also in my skin. Fashion is a great help when it comes to expressing yourself and how you feel today. You can emphasize your feelings but also change your mood by simply adding specific details like colors to your outfit. It’s about you! It’s not about hiding completely so nobody will even notice you’re here.
When shooting an outfit, I like to choose a neutral location nowadays – that’s why you see me on that parking lot most of the time. ;) There’s enough space and nobody’s watching me (I really don’t like having an audience) and it works for most of my looks – because they’re supposed to be the center of attention, not the background. :)
My attitude in the photos has changed a lot – I remember that in the beginning of the blog, my poses were pretty weird because I wanted to do something different. Yeah, well – most of the time, I just looked a bit too freaky. ;) But that’s another stage of my evolution. I know many say that I don’t smile often enough in my pictures – that’s because I don’t really like my smile that much and therefore don’t want to see it every time. I look like a tiny little white hamster when I laugh, so please forgive me that it kind of “ruins” my idea of aesthetic fashion photos. ;) But if the look fits, a smile is never wrong and you’ll see it in my posts. :) And it’s important to be happy and smile as often as possible. Another point of feeling and being beautiful! :)
I read a lot that people are surprised when they see my posts from back in 2009/2010 because I was a lot slimmer back then. It’s not a secret and I don’t hide that I’ve gained a lot of weight – there are a lot of different reasons why I became fat (even though I’ve never been skinny), and even though I never write about them because they’re private, I don’t want to → promote obesity. I want to promote body positivity, feeling good and being healthy, and a part of this is not only caring for yourself but also using fashion as a way to feel powerful and beautiful. It may sound weird but it never destroyed me to become fat, I never considered myself to be worth less because my body was bigger than the average. Funnily, my self-confidence has grown through the years and I’m pretty sure that blogging has had a huge impact on that. I don’t mean to say that gaining weight will make you stronger, nor will blogging (especially because this will need some very thick skin!). But it is important to switch off negative thoughts towards yourself. Stop hating yourself for what you are. I’ve already said it once and I want to repeat it: your body is not your enemy. Treat it like a friend, like the best friend you have!
I’m convinced that it isn’t that hard to be stylish as a fat woman if you just a) stop letting others tell you what’s beautiful and b) start being open for the selection you can find, which isn’t that small (especially online). But there is one wish towards the fashion industry from my side – I would like to see many brands stop feeling forced to dress fat women and instead start having fun offering them the same that every skinny woman has: possibilities. Many different possibilities to express yourself through fashion.
Because fashion is not only clothes, fashion is freedom. And that’s my beauty – the freedom to wear whatever I want, whenever I want, wherever I want.