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Noch ein letzter gemütlich-kuschliger Look vorm offiziellen Sommer! 😉 Die Fotos und Infos gibt‘s auf dem Blog (zusammen mit vielen Momo-Fotos!). 😘 #plussize #plussizeoutfit #plussizeblogger #luziehtan #celebratemysize #honormycurves #effyourbodystandards | 📷 @jacqueline.filmore_jfcreations

Noch ein letzter gemütlich-kuschliger Look...

Ich glaube ja, Momo hat nach kürzester Zeit resigniert - meiner unbändigen Liebe für alles Flauschige konnte sie nicht entkommen. #sorrynotsorry #sosiehtverzweiflungaus #undgleichdanebenriesigefreude ♥️ | 📷 @jacqueline.filmore_jfcreations

Ich glaube ja, Momo hat...

Weirdo Alert! 🌸 Ich finde ja, dass das mit dem Blumenbüschel direkt als Real-Life-Snapchatfilter durchgehen könnte. 💁🏼‍♀️ #selfietuesday #throwback #plussizeblogger #luziehtan #flowerturban #biggestweirdointown

Weirdo Alert! 🌸 Ich finde...

Dogs like me. Obviously. 😂 Not. 
HAPPY TUESDAY! 🤓 Don’t forget to laugh a lot! 😘 | 📷 @jacqueline.filmore_jfcreations

Dogs like me. Obviously. 😂...

Hello ☀️! I ♥️ you! | 📷 @jacqueline.filmore_jfcreations

Hello ☀️! I ♥️ you!...

Oh Hamburg. 🖤

Oh Hamburg. 🖤

#throwback to Wednesday - playing „Influencer“ with my chocolate ice cream. 💁🏼‍♀️ | 📷 @carolinebrauns

#throwback to Wednesday - playing...

Hände hoch, wer freut sich schon auf‘s Wochenende? 🔥 #plussize #plussizeoutfit #plussizeblogger #luziehtan #celebratemysize #honormycurves #effyourbodystandards | 📷 @jacqueline.filmore_jfcreations

Hände hoch, wer freut sich...

🔥 Heute ist es draußen genauso heiß wie mein Outfit, haha! 🤓 Ich hoffe, dass ihr die Möglichkeit habt, die Sonne noch irgendwie zu genießen (wenigstens in der Mittagspause!). 😘😘😘 Den Look und alle Details dazu gibt‘s auf dem Blog! #plussize #plussizeoutfit #plussizeblogger #luziehtan #celebratemysize #honormycurves #effyourbodystandards | 📷 @jacqueline.filmore_jfcreations

🔥 Heute ist es draußen...

Heute mal ein richtiger Vamp-Look auf dem Blog! 😏 #plussize #plussizeoutfit #plussizeblogger #luziehtan #celebratemysize #honormycurves #effyourbodystandards | 📷 @jacqueline.filmore_jfcreations

Heute mal ein richtiger Vamp-Look...

Tag Archives Private

• JahresrückBLOG 2017 | III – New Year, New Me… literally. •

By Posted on 13 6K views

Photos: Katharina Kerwer
» Düsseldorf | Hyatt Regency


2017 was a year of changes. It was the worst year of my life and at the same time the best year ever. People like to say “new year, new me” when they start into a new year. For me, 2018 literally means that it’s going to be a new year with a new me, cause I already changed a lot and I’m still in that metamorphosis mood from 2017.

Looking back, I’m pretty sure that what happened to me was the best that could happen to me cause I was stuck. And I wasn’t happy. I was horribly unsatisfied and I was a hostage of my anxieties. The change was unevitable but I wish it would’ve happened a little easier or at least not with the destroying power of a nuclear bomb. But thinking about it, this was probably necessary – otherwise, I wouldn’t have understood that I’ve got to do something.

So – let’s stop philosophizing about this because this is the last part of my recap of the year and all I want to do now is have a look at the things I learned 2017…

I love the #Truthbombs from Danielle LaPorte and this will be my mantra for 2018.

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• Private XXI | Overcoming Depression and Anxiety I •

By Posted on 11 7.4K views

Photos: Jacqueline Filmore


It’s been some time since I told you about → my struggles with depression and anxiety. I feel like after about half a year I’m ready to give you a first update on my situation. That’s why this post is part one of my story and journey with these two – cause I’m pretty sure that there’s room for more and probably not only a second update. 

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• Hormone free | Before •

By Posted on 60 7.3K views

Today is not only the day I’m finally moving out of Hamburg for good, it’s also the day I’m changing something in my life that’s been a part of it for about 14 years. I decided to share this with you since I believe that this is a very important topic and it’s something we need to talk about more. A few days ago, after already thinking about it for a few years, I decided that I want to stop taking the pill. There are many reasons and these are some of them that led to my decision:

  • I’ve been taking it for 14 years – that’s more than half of my life and definitely not acceptable anymore! I don’t even know who I am without the pill, without all those hormones in my body. I’ve been 13 when I had my period for the first time and got the prescription because of the horrible pain I felt. My gynecologist thinks I may suffer of endometriosis and checking this will be the next step. 
  • Not only have I been taking it for so long, I even took it without doing the pauses because of the pain. My gyn let me do this so I won’t even have my period and therefore avoid the pain. Of course it’s super convenient and lovely not to bleed every month but looking at it from the “natural” side: this is not normal. 
  • The pill is dangerous. Highly dangerous. I mean, only the danger of thrombosis is enormous and I don’t want to live in fear of this anymore.
  • I’m pretty sure my migraine is caused by the pill. And I got it very often. Too often. 

I’m actually a little scared of how my body will react. Like: I’ve always had very good skin, never any problems with pimples during my puberty or after, no acne, no nothing. Only thing I’ve been always struggling with is hormonal (maybe also caused by the pill, who knows?) hair loss. I’m pretty sure that it also didn’t help with my weight to take the pill so excessively. Another thing: diabetes plus period – this is probably going to be hell since it affects the blood sugar. So I’m pretty sure that I’ll have to learn a lot… And then there’s the fact that I’ve never got to know myself, my physical and emotional feelings, my period cycle or anything else without the pill. Thinking about it, this is actually not only terrible but also super sad. 

I’m also scared of the pain I will feel again but I took a very special precaution: I’ve been part of a crowdfunding project called “Livia” – the device is supposed to work like a TENS machine especially created for menstrual pain. This sounded more than appealing to me and I blindly invested my money in this project and around July this year, I finally received my very own lilac “Livia”. And trust me: I’m extremely excited and curious to try it, so somehow, I’m actually looking forward to my next period (sounds horribly crazy because if it doesn’t work, the pain will be unbearable and it will definitely make me consider stopping this whole “no more pill” thing because this is my last chance – regular painkillers never worked for me)… I’ll keep you updated on that – if it works, how it works, etc.

And then there’s another thing I want to try – menstrual cups. I don’t want to use tampons anymore. It’s insane that it’s almost 2018 and the evolution of tampons stopped many years ago and the use of them is also pretty dangerous. And let’s be honest: sanitary pads are a bloody mess (pun intended, haha!). I really don’t like it. The invention of menstrual cups is super cool and I’m excited to get to know them (I’m open for any tips!), even though I won’t be able to use them instantly cause I’ll have to get to know my menstrual cycle. So here I am – ready for everything that’s coming.

Last topic: contraception. I still don’t know which path I’ll take for that. Obviously, there’s loads of stuff to discover, read and learn and I haven’t decided yet, what I want to try. We’ll see. 

So that’s all for now. I’m pretty sure that in two days (at the latest) I’ll cryingly regret my decision but it’s so worth it. The pill is not an option anymore.

Questions for you: who’s on this journey with me? Are there other women who stopped taking the pill or intend to do it (join me, now!)? What are your experiences? How do you feel now? Which contraception method did you choose? Tell me your story if you want to, I’m super curious! :) 

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• Private XIX | Unapologetically me. •

By Posted on 47 4.4K views

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Photos: Sung-Hee Seewald

During interviews, the question “Did you always feel good in your body?” is usually one of the first questions. As if it was a masterly performance to be satisfied with yourself or as if I should rather lie and/or be ashamed of it – because I’m fat. And I should feel bad about it. Thanks!

Of course I know that it’s not the easiest thing to look at yourself (especially naked) in the mirror and say “Hey, I’m awesome the way I am!” if everybody and everything is telling you all the time that you’re not – unless you change this and that and most important: you lose weight. Because only as a thin person you’re a valuable part of this society, accepted and tolerated, beautiful and desirable. If you’re fat, the best “compliment” you can expect is that you have a pretty face – usually this is weakened by a passing “If you were thin…” plus a random positive development you could achieve in your life. Be it with men, at your job, anywhere: if you’re skinny, you’re automatically better. And then, when you’re thinner, you notice that it wasn’t that much worth it, because if you’re not fundamentally happy with yourself, the few sizes less won’t change anything. Only the diet industry will be cheering loudly cause they recruited another disciple, a new member of their “sect”, for which counting calories or “points” is as holy and will bring you the same light as twelve “Ave Maria”. Isn’t it sad to think negatively about food and yourself all the time? Is that really worth it?

Now I’ve certainly been a lot thinner 8 years ago when I started this blog. I wasn’t skinny-skinny but a lot skinnier than today. Back then, I wore an average EU size 38, today it’s 44-48. For some who approach me about that from time to time, it seems to be a catastrophe of a horrible dimension, they’re horrified and convinced that it should be some kind of apocalypse for me, they can’t understand at all how something “like this” could happen, and they’re left pretty confused when they see that I’m not as distraught as they are. Cause for me, it’s really not that terrible.

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