Photo: Jacqueline Filmore
I want to be different. Don’t get me wrong, this is not going to be an “I’m so much better than the others” or “I’m such a special snowflake” post – but it’s going to be an honest one telling you that the current image of plus-size bloggers and/or influencers does not make me happy. In fact, I’m pretty annoyed right now by the whole way of appearance the business chose to go for. And I’m annoyed by the fact that I’m somehow a part of it.
I am definitely not prudish or pedantic, but I believe that the whole current “sex sells” thing is kind of becoming too much and also not really helpful for how plus-size actually wants to be seen by the world. We keep asking for acceptance and tolerance and at the same time there are so many of my colleagues posting clearly sexual, sometimes even pretty cheap-looking pictures or videos of them on Social Media, obviously looking for attention and craving for followers – not or just partly for the actual body positivity movement.
Yes, I myself have also already posted lots of photos of myself in underwear, even naked, and I’m a true believer that it has to be and is a part of body positivity and empowerment to love and also show yourself in a sexy way. But I feel like it’s kind of getting out of control and becoming a provocation and show-off instead of an actual statement.
I believe that sexuality and also pictures showing that fat people are sexy and have sex are important. These pictures have to be seen as well as skinny peoples’ sexuality in order to change something. The media needs women “like us” to show themselves the same way as skinny women in ads and on international catwalks. The world needs to see women of all kinds, without the “magic” of Photoshop but with the power of self-love and self-confidence that empowers other women to understand that they are amazing just the way they are. There is no need to look like a model, no need to try to look like an unrealistic ideal, no need to change yourself and force yourself into something you’re not. This also applies to disabled bodies, trans bodies and any other body that does not reflect our society’s ideal body type – the skinny and photoshopped one.
But I also believe that plus-size women can be and are so much more than just sexy. I believe that we don’t need to show ourselves all of the time in underwear or naked or upload provocatively sexual pictures when especially on Social Media the actual feedback comes mostly from very disgusting examples of men who don’t even give a fuck about our [body positivity] message but keep telling us how hot we are and then sending us dick pics or harassing us in any other way, while there might be only a handful of women who do think that this is awesome, but still too brave, so they say that they’d never do this cause they’re afraid.
You guys know how important body positivity is to me. And this post is not supposed to shame my blogging and instagramming colleagues. Still, I want to be different. I don’t want to be a part of the “sex sells” movement. Because I feel that I don’t belong to that kind of movement anymore. I don’t wanna promote body positivity by being naked all the time. By shaking my boobs in front of a camera. By showing my naked butt fullsized on a picture. By typing trivial quotes under racy pictures of myself I’d only send to my imaginary boyfriend.
I want to keep writing texts, inspiring and motivating you through words and an actual message.
Of course I’ll still be posting some underwear pictures from time to time. Just because they’re a part of it and because I’m a firm believer that we have nothing to hide as plus-size women. I know that “sex sells” will always be a thing and that’s fine – it’s been like that since what feels like forever and that’s okay. I just don’t feel like being a part of that. I’m actually annoyed that I’ve been a part of that superficial and hollow subculture. Being a fashion blogger is indeed a pretty hollow job if you don’t make it special enough by having a message. And of course, it’s also okay to be one without having a message – you don’t always have to have something to say and it’s not always about being a role model. I’ve never really seen myself as one, even though I know about the responsibility I have by posting pictures of me – however they look like. I know that I want to empower other women (and all genders/identities), I know that I want to motivate and inspire people. Show that being fat is not a problem or the end of the world. You are what you make of it. It’s on you to choose your way. And I chose mine.